Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML
Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML
Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML
Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML
Today, in a scene worthy of any comedy movie, I slipped and landed on my ass right on the garden rake my husband left in the grass. Sounds funny, right? Well, I have 9 holes in my ass and thigh that need stitches. One of them came close to poking my femoral artery, so technically I almost died. FML
Today, I was trying to convince my husband to not trim the lower branches of my favorite tree. After pleading my case, I turned around and ran smack into one of said branches. My face and my dignity still hurt. FML
Today, I got into a fight with a lawnmower after walking backwards to pull around/avoid running over a root, and I tripped over a sitting log by our campfire and broke three of my toes (thankfully, a log half blocked the blades) so now I'm on crutches and need to wear a boot for 6-8 weeks, and I'm banned from mowing for the year. FML
Today, I was skiing and crashed into a tree. It was the only tree on the slope. FML
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out!" FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
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Top comments
SlightlySadistic 0
-cringes- Oh my god, OUCH.
choppedNskrewed 0
holy crap, so you basically cut your leg with a chainsaw? shitttt *vomits*
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Comments (248)
youfailatlife 0
Leave it to the pros next time, dumb ass.
chelsea_pratt 0
at least you didn't get half of your body chopped up, right?
elloelle 0
-gasp in disbelief- hhhhhhhhhholy mother of god. that has got to be the most unfortunate thing i have ever heard... definite FML. dddddefinate.
Bobobthegreat 0
This is not true. The second you take your finger off the trigger the blade stops. And if the person had any idea sense they would of backed up when the tree fell and not have it hit them. YDI end of story. P.S. sell your chainsaw you lost the right to own one.
lancewell 0
thats what they make the saftey chaps for, they do save you from hospital bills, cuz they work! YDI for not wearing proper protective gear.
SadfaceFML 0
At least you were unconscious.
Necrophile_fml 0
ouch...
kcslgvr 11
hey #86: its not like EVERY SINGLE chainsaw is the same, unless it is a standard. then you win. this reminds me of when the giant maple outside of my house fell down and hit our suburban's hood. then the guys trying to move it made it swing and it broke the back, side and front windows in one blow. at least it swung that way; if it swung the other way, it would have hit my room. i am so sorry that happened to you. i hope you get better soon!
24788 7
Might want to consider hiring someone next time.
redsquare 0
owwwww >_