Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML
Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML
Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML
Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML
Today, in a scene worthy of any comedy movie, I slipped and landed on my ass right on the garden rake my husband left in the grass. Sounds funny, right? Well, I have 9 holes in my ass and thigh that need stitches. One of them came close to poking my femoral artery, so technically I almost died. FML
Today, I was trying to convince my husband to not trim the lower branches of my favorite tree. After pleading my case, I turned around and ran smack into one of said branches. My face and my dignity still hurt. FML
Today, I got into a fight with a lawnmower after walking backwards to pull around/avoid running over a root, and I tripped over a sitting log by our campfire and broke three of my toes (thankfully, a log half blocked the blades) so now I'm on crutches and need to wear a boot for 6-8 weeks, and I'm banned from mowing for the year. FML
Today, I was skiing and crashed into a tree. It was the only tree on the slope. FML
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out!" FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
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Top comments
SlightlySadistic 0
-cringes- Oh my god, OUCH.
choppedNskrewed 0
holy crap, so you basically cut your leg with a chainsaw? shitttt *vomits*
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Comments (248)
pgray18 0
mmmmmmmmmmmm blood.. :]
jamblasticus 0
Shredded human flesh... Yay! If this is true, then yeah, your life is ******.
Theos_fml 0
#13, that's questionable. If the tree was so decayed, why not use a maul? It's loads more fun. Good thing the saw stopped before it went all the way through. Those things tend to pull stuff towards them...
thiagohf113 0
owwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!! and i thought getting spiked with a track cleat hurt....
morganlovee143 0
i really don't understand how he deserved a sawed open leg. i mean yeah, he might not have had proper experience or what not, but that still doesn't give any other person the right to say he deserved bodily injury.
thiagohf113 0
#107 has a point... why would you say someone deserves a bodily injury?
Meowff 0
OWWWW! Now this is a real FML.
swimmer07 0
ow! that sucks! FYL indeed!
MeaganxMonster 0
LMAO! at #30.
cumanzor 0
Fortunately you didn't cut your head or anything.