Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I finally went to Home Depot to buy a chainsaw to cut down the tree leaning dangerously over my garage. When I got home, I found the tree had fallen and taken out the roof while I was shopping. FML
Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML
Today, I was helping my boyfriend in the garden. When I wanted to break a piece of wood, I lost my balance. Head first against a stone. Result: five stitches in my upper lip, and a loose tooth. FML
Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML
Today, in a scene worthy of any comedy movie, I slipped and landed on my ass right on the garden rake my husband left in the grass. Sounds funny, right? Well, I have 9 holes in my ass and thigh that need stitches. One of them came close to poking my femoral artery, so technically I almost died. FML
Today, I was trying to convince my husband to not trim the lower branches of my favorite tree. After pleading my case, I turned around and ran smack into one of said branches. My face and my dignity still hurt. FML
Today, I got into a fight with a lawnmower after walking backwards to pull around/avoid running over a root, and I tripped over a sitting log by our campfire and broke three of my toes (thankfully, a log half blocked the blades) so now I'm on crutches and need to wear a boot for 6-8 weeks, and I'm banned from mowing for the year. FML
Today, I was skiing and crashed into a tree. It was the only tree on the slope. FML
Today, I was horseback riding. Somebody yelled something behind me, so I turned around. Next thing I know, I am on the ground and my head is killing me. It turns out I ran into a tree branch. The person behind me simply said, "Watch out!" FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
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Top comments
SlightlySadistic 0
-cringes- Oh my god, OUCH.
choppedNskrewed 0
holy crap, so you basically cut your leg with a chainsaw? shitttt *vomits*
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Comments (248)
Orchard 33
And the Darwin Award goes to....
duma191 21
just a warning to everyone, dangerous machines have safety features. most chainsaws have a feature which either stops the chain or puts it in idle if both hands are not on the handles. do not disable these features. the result could be painful or deadly.
Cursedcamel 5
I've seen people cut their legs with chainsaws, not pretty.
CptRogers 1
When I was 10 I had to get 26 stitches in my knee from a chainsaw accident
ksuzc7 3
Ouch!!!
acke01 14
Aouch
THE4WESOM4N 6
Oh dear lord that must have hurt
hilfiger_fml 5
You sound like a future darwin award winner.