Intimacy: Today, in the middle of 69ing, my girlfriend put my dick on her...

By rockonbaby - 13/01/2017 17:33 - France

Today, in the middle of 69ing, my girlfriend put my dick on her forehead and announced “I’m a unicorn!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 403

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Top comments

wickedgetz 30

Wednesday 12 July 2017 8:27

lmao that is awesome, your girlfriend has a great sense of humour

Trippchic 15

Thursday 3 August 2017 1:07

She sounds like a keeper lol.

Comments

wickedgetz 30

Wednesday 12 July 2017 8:27

lmao that is awesome, your girlfriend has a great sense of humour

Trippchic 15

Thursday 3 August 2017 1:07

She sounds like a keeper lol.

alucard724 9

Friday 18 August 2017 8:34

I don't find that to be a problem

T1A2Z3 34

Saturday 2 June 2018 1:56

How did she think of this before I did???

Lennyx Louise Kuehnel-Redden 4

Monday 20 August 2018 20:04

if you cant laugh during sex with the person, you shouldnt be having sex with them.

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The Top

Today, I slept with my boyfriend for the first time. I'd always imagined it would be a romantic moment, but it turned out that "Saw 5" was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 995

You deserved it 4 229

Today, I received two letters, one from my mom, the other from my dad, about how much they missed me with me not being around them. I called my mom, feeling sad. She didn't sound sad at all. She asked me which letter was better. My parents were competing each other which letter would be more moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 370

You deserved it 2 422

The Top

Today, our carbon monoxide detector started beeping. My mom started freaking out and made me go stand outside so I "don't die". I stood outside for 20 minutes, it was raining and it turned out that the detector was just low on battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 227

You deserved it 4 386

Today, I have an infected piercing because I'm allergic to the metal. My ear is so swollen that I can't remove the jewelry. It won't get better until I'm able to remove the jewelry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 811

You deserved it 1 752

Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 126

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me when his so-called "ways to turn me on" didn't work. What were these ways? Flicking my nips and inserting his finger in my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 239

You deserved it 544

Today, after 10 years of intense training, I earned a black belt in karate. When I told my mom, she asked how long it took me, then laughed and sarcastically remarked, "Wow. SO impressive," whilst slow-clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 386

You deserved it 335

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 837

You deserved it 5 273