Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML
No exit! No choice!
Today, I was driving my car when I suddenly got diarrhea and shat my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then one of my workmates saw my car and came to say hello. She saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML
Stop staring
Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML
Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML
Freeze!
Today, I ran to catch the subway, slipped, and my pants ripped across the back. I got on the train trying to cover the hole, only to realize the train was packed with people staring straight at my underwear though my fingers. To make it worse, my phone started playing loud music and I froze as I considered which situation to fix first. FML
Today, while I was working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML
Today, I took a long distance train across country. Early on I had an urgent need to use the bathroom. As I went to flush away the nasty, the preflush water violently projected my diarrhoea onto my pants before clearing the rest down the gurgler. I have 8 hours left on the train. FML
Toilet humour
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Top comments
DeLaNegra 0
how is this 'Love'???
epic_fail_whoa 0
Wow, even the three year old I babysit knows how to say, "Gotta go poop!"
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Comments (48)
wrestler17 0
Okay sunglasses to hide face... Two I don't think he means full out shat himself I think it might have been one that slipped? Most guys I know have done this or know about this when they can't get to a bathroom, you might crap yourself a little, it sucks it's embarrassing but eh life goes on
_musical_addict_ 0
What the ****???!!???
jaybrown 0
I B S at it's finest.
missmoatwas 0
Look up IBS. It's not that you have no control over your bowels. You just have irregular bowel movements. Frequent diarrhea or constipation and cramping. Who knows what's going on with his health... ALSO IBS is extremely common, and you don't see people ******** their pants left and right, do you?
JeWbOy101 11
Yes IBS does not mean that you lack all control of your bows but it is possible for something to set off your IBS and not have time to get to a toilet before your stomachs flops. I know people with really bad IBS and had this happen to them
skiz_fml 0
Aweonao
Tchernov9 0
By the shades, did you mean that when you were being described it was, the shades person, not the crapped person. But that totally sucks if you have a bowel disorder, if not, you deserve it for trying to fart hard in a public place.
kaysi_28 0
CHI CHI CHI LE LE LE viva chile
DLT_17 0
ROTFL: 1and12 X'D
daisydropper 0
You coulda just stoped at 'I crapped in my pants and I'm X' that woudl do
missmoatwas 0
You should have just acted autistic. I've dealt with someone who just shit their pants, they were pretttyyy embarrassed having to ask for cleaning supplies. At work (a movie theater), guess who got to clean up the spillover in the bathroom stall? Yuup. Me. FML & FYL.
moolatte 0
I don't know why, but when I read this and pictured a guy (I know it might be a girl, but whatever) on the subway after having crapped his pants, I saw Robert Pattinson standing there with his little Ray-Bans.