Animals: Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This...

By jlujan00 - 18/11/2015 23:40 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 205

You deserved it 2 907

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/12/2018 06:00 - Australia - Carlton

Today, I found the remnants of a condom in my dog’s poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 414

You deserved it 394

Handful

By Mary - 19/10/2009 01:11 - France

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 827

You deserved it 6 933

By morphea - 29/04/2015 22:54 - France - Chantepie

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 771

You deserved it 2 673

Chocolate chip

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 14:00

Today, I was eating chocolate chip cookies around the house and saw a chocolate chip on the floor. Not wanting my dog to eat it, given that chocolate is poisonous for dogs, I swiped it up with my finger and put it to my mouth. It was then that I realized it was a stub of my dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 2 880

By Anonymous - 28/02/2012 18:20 - United States

Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 301

You deserved it 2 820

Pantie thief

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 201

Teamwork

By Ash_U - 19/08/2017 16:00

Today, I had to dig through my dog's poop again because I thought I saw a worm, but it was just the remains of the paper towels my husband leaves all over the house. My efforts to make them both stop have obviously fallen on deaf ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 421

You deserved it 352

By WellThatSucks - 23/05/2016 09:15 - United States

Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 186

You deserved it 1 387

By themanzz - 08/10/2010 12:08 - Canada

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 556

You deserved it 8 637

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 00:06 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 693

You deserved it 2 201

Queen_bee1234 21

Thursday 19 November 2015 11:10

He's getting all the bitches!

Soninuva 41

Thursday 19 November 2015 11:10

Hey, at least he used protection!

Comments

justingug76 14

Thursday 19 November 2015 20:17

Brings up an uncomfortable situation when you tell your dog to come.

captainsmegma 12

Thursday 19 November 2015 20:53

Where does doggie get these delicious delicacies?

aldoshoes 4

Thursday 19 November 2015 22:44

Not necessarily. Maybe someone's been rodding your dog up the pooper.

prized_loser 17

Thursday 19 November 2015 23:05

Why is that a bad thing? Perfect way for an affair!

aelabed 17

Friday 20 November 2015 0:19

Probably high in protein

samlovesham1234 9

Friday 20 November 2015 6:46

I'm wondering if they were flavoured condoms. Also, better have a vet give the dog a thorough exam to make sure it's still healthy.

the_real_dvd 21

Friday 20 November 2015 8:03

Maybe they're flavored, or maybe the dog just likes the cream filling.

shortcake18 15

Friday 20 November 2015 8:59

Sounds like he needs extra lube

thatsme293 28

Friday 20 November 2015 16:18

The sperm adds a salty taste you see.

rabid_otaku 29

Saturday 21 November 2015 5:12

Why are they lying around

fluffycatsdad 33

Sunday 22 November 2015 6:49

What do you do with your used condoms that your dog can not only find them, but eat them as well?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 338

You deserved it 15 971

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that mine and her father's wedding is just a big joke, and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 052

You deserved it 3 116

The Top

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 754

You deserved it 7 228

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 790

You deserved it 9 587

Today, I was half asleep when my cat came over to cuddle. I was petting her in the dark when I felt what I thought was a patch of matted fur under her neck, as if she had been injured and bleeding. Alarmed, I felt for that spot again and found myself holding her tail. What I'd felt was in fact my cat's anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 599

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 493

You deserved it 1 983

Today, my mom lit a candle in our living room, telling the family how much she loved it. She then went on the tell us that my dad got it for her and it must have been some cheap candle. I bought the candle as a gift for her on her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 967

You deserved it 3 125

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend can only orgasm when we have sex to gospel music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 533

You deserved it 6 415