Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, at work, I wet my pants. I had to throw my tighty-whities away. Since I didn't have underwear on, I chafed real bad and got a rash on my butthole and near my balls. I had to push my boyfriend off of me, all because it hurt too much to touch. FML
Today, I got into my boyfriend's car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
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Top comments
peanutbutterfly 0
WOOOOOW... just claim it accidentally called him when you were doing the dishes
Phoenix_GAD 0
fail. lol i have a touch screen too. it calls random people.
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Comments (160)
lanceralex 0
press the # button at the end then you can delete it
Zlappy 0
That last sentance is awsome by itself!
dynamopig 0
hahahaha I know what you meant to say and all but shouldnt it be "i left a message on his cell of me peeing"
superboard 0
ohh at first when I read this I thought u said that your phone FELL in the toilet, this is much less worse
R3nesmee 0
Lawl, I would have started talking really loud... YDI
g7190g92 1
Hahaha...at least he probably couldn't tell the noise was you peeing. Or if he could hear running liquids, he could just think it was the sink or something. At least your phone didn't go INTO the toilet :)
hoff90 0
fake.... what phone (touch screen or not) would select a contact or speed dial, AND select the call button with a simple fall to the ground? Especially since you need to open or unlock (password for some too) any phone before you can do anything. Also, since your a woman and sitting on the toilet, you really couldn't reach onto the ground to pick it up? I doubt it would've rolled far, or at all for that matter. If you were a man i would see this being a problem since its hard to reach for something on the ground and pee at the same time.
ilovejustin4ever 0
she could have been accidently pressing buttons while it was in her pocket.... and unless she wonted to get pee on the seat she wouldnt have been able to reach it coz it could have slid across the floor a bit before stopping.....
JustinKingr 0
this made me laugh for almost 2 minutes
JustinBieberIsOK 0
53- more like tinkled
spade1997 0
lmfao