Today, I found out that I am "un-promotable" to the job that...

By freeachickadee - 10/10/2014 03:32 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I found out that I am "un-promotable" to the job that I have been promised for the last two years because, I "don't suffer idiots well." Idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30809

You deserved it

3772

Favorite

freeachickadee tells us more :

OP Here. I don't suffer idiots well means that I don't tolerate or deal with idiots well. Which is utter crap. It is an excuse to get out of giving me the promotion they've been promising me for years. Now they have an alternate (totally unqualified candidate) so they are passing me over. FML. Onto bigger and better things I guess.

Work

Dangling modifier

Rock, hard place

Lockdown is driving us down

By Katz - 11/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was babysitting for a friend who develops software. After the baby was asleep, I was watching anime on my iPad. Turns out he created an app that alerts his phone whenever potential adult content streams through his internet. It was just an anime, but he's convinced I was watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3120

You deserved it

400

Favorite

By dxplq876 - 17/3/2009 03:13 - United States

Today, I was walking out of the grocery store and out of no where, a car backing up pretty fast speeds downs the parking lot and hits me, causing me to fall down and drop all of the groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks

111697

You deserved it

4649

Favorite

By Bambusmaster - 13/9/2018 18:50

Sobering.

Today, I'm on vacation with my best friends. We went to a club and I drunk texted my girlfriend of 1 year about how nice everything is and how much I miss her. She responded by breaking up with me because she likes me more as a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2738

You deserved it

207

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/12/2016 04:33 - United States - Yuma

Today, after buying hundreds of dollars worth of Christmas presents, my transmission blew up on the interstate heading home. Now, I either have to return the gifts or not drive over 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10207

You deserved it

949

Favorite

By birdhater - 15/10/2009 06:16 - Australia

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25766

You deserved it

2651

Favorite

By Anonymous - 8/9/2020 10:01 - United States - Saint Paul

High Times

Today, I got hit by a car while I was on the phone. I was sat at a bus stop. The driver was high and lost focus lighting another blunt. My family and some friends are mad that I'm pressing charges and making weed look bad in the media. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1683

You deserved it

329

Favorite

By rock'n roller - 3/12/2013 03:42

Today, my bandmate and I decided to propose to our girlfriends, who are also in the band, at the same time in the middle of a concert. His girlfriend said yes. Mine ran off the stage crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55549

You deserved it

6428

Favorite

By deserted - 1/9/2010 07:05 - France

Today, I was going to meet my friend at a concert. I got there before her, so I went in to check out the local bands that were playing before the headliner. When she got there, I went just outside the building to give her a ticket. The security guards wouldn't let me back in. She went in anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28615

You deserved it

7126

Favorite

By nikkiquila_0699 - 5/9/2009 21:24 - Canada

Today, I came back from my 3 month vacation from France. During my vacation I lost 32lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50248

You deserved it

4773

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/9/2014 22:30 - United States - Phillipsburg

Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19023

You deserved it

36003

Favorite

By Taco Hell - 19/10/2012 06:43 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I got threatened to get dragged out of the window at work because I wouldn't sell someone hot wings. I work at Taco Bell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25949

You deserved it

1945

Favorite

By Anonymous - 28/5/2019 02:25

The Dilbert Principle

Today, I had to attend an interview in order to keep my job, despite exceeding all of my targets for over a year. My supervisor has not reached a single target at all in the same time, yet his job is safe and not under review. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1553

You deserved it

Favorite

By Anonymous - 7/9/2016 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16303

You deserved it

2090

Favorite

By Poopsie - 13/8/2018 06:00

Today, I went to the ER due to intense headaches. My partner was unable to go with me so he called his father to drive me. My father-in-law now knows that every time I orgasm my head feels like it will explode. He also knows that it happened 4 times last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2941

You deserved it

376

Favorite

By estallidos - 23/1/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27145

You deserved it

2425

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/5/2009 11:06 - United States

Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15742

You deserved it

60838

Favorite

By neuroticallyours - 12/11/2009 07:11 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38015

You deserved it

5920

Favorite

By CP19JK12KH - 3/1/2010 09:56 - United States

Today, I had a rare phone call from my ex-girlfriend. We ended up talking for hours about old times. It was the best conversation we have had in forever, it made me miss her and miss us. Later on in the day, she called back asking what we talked about. She was too high too remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38810

You deserved it

3986

Favorite

By crazystuff23 - 1/6/2009 16:44 - United States

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

I agree, your life sucks

81550

You deserved it

5809

Favorite

By amy - 20/7/2019 02:09

Today, I had a dream about sleeping, which is a dream I have frequently. I’m exhausted even when I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1461

You deserved it

119

Favorite

By kirstiexoxo - 7/2/2012 08:11 - United States

Today, I had a package stolen from my porch. It was a shipment of customized M and M's for a Valentine's gift. I spent $60 for someone else to eat "I love you" messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29462

You deserved it

3980

Favorite

By GiWi - 18/11/2009 16:45 - Ireland

Today, I asked my boss a simple question about a problem I was having with a project I am currently doing. He replied: ''You don't worry your sweet little ass about it babe". My boss is my girlfriend's father. Nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32632

You deserved it

3261

Favorite

By Anonymous - 18/11/2009 06:17 - United States

Today, at the old folk's home where I work as a housekeeper, a resident was holding herself on the way to the bathroom. I hoped she wouldn't leave a mess. She made it just fine. I was then informed that she had left a crap trail from the couch, more than 20ft away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28359

You deserved it

2716

Favorite

By Raptorcake - 15/8/2016 12:50 - Australia - Calwell

Today, it's my birthday and I celebrated with friends. I now have 34 individual copies of the first Twilight movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13697

You deserved it

1852

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 21:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34307

You deserved it

6518

Favorite

By chronic masticator - 21/5/2016 11:51 - United States

Today, after I skipped dessert for the third day in a row, my mom cornered me and accused me of being anorexic. I'm actually not far off being clinically obese and I'm just trying to diet, but nothing I say will convince her. She wants me to see a psychiatrist about a disorder I don't even have. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13165

You deserved it

790

Favorite

By faitesdesgosses - 19/5/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48019

You deserved it

7090

Favorite

By RandomMe - 26/2/2016 08:00 - Cambodia - Sihanouk

Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17616

You deserved it

11840

Favorite

By parenting_failure - 20/3/2011 16:10 - France

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51976

You deserved it

8715

Favorite

By itendstonight - 9/8/2009 12:42 - Ireland

Today, it was my turn to have the trophy my baseball team won a few weeks ago. I then find out that my brother and his buddies thought it would be funny to fill the trophy up with beer, drink the beer, and then pee in it. Not only is it over 50yrs old, it stinks of pee and is due back tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42897

You deserved it

4360

Favorite

By lils - 5/8/2012 17:45 - United States

Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41647

You deserved it

3057

Favorite

By Anonymous - 9/5/2020 20:00

Tinfoil hat wearers are everywhere

Today, I overheard my mom on the phone ranting about how China "engineered and released" the coronavirus and the giant hornets in an attempt to take over the world. Only one more month of quarantine left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1403

You deserved it

232

Favorite

By bibobobonnor - 28/9/2010 04:40 - Canada

Today, my dad gave me a football signed by my favourite football player. It would've been great, except that I saw my dad sign it in front of me. The worst part is that he denies doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31306

You deserved it

3241

Favorite

By embarrassed much - 27/2/2016 03:14 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was talking to my new boss while on speakerphone. Then, my sister yelled for me, asking me to check whether she had a yeast infection or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20288

You deserved it

2620

Favorite

By ip7 - 31/3/2015 19:24 - United Kingdom - Horsham

Today, I was sitting in a library when a cute boy approached me, so I grabbed the nearest book. When he asked me what I was reading, I said I was revising for an English test. He laughed and pointed out that my book was in French. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16918

You deserved it

21008

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/4/2015 03:31 - United States - New Britain

Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML

I agree, your life sucks

28822

You deserved it

5101

Favorite

By eyerollplease - 30/4/2017 22:00

Today, after recently celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary, my husband and I watched my mom and his dad say "I Do". I am now married to my step-brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7575

You deserved it

479

Favorite

By Mik - 8/6/2011 03:05 - United States

Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17093

You deserved it

32075

Favorite

By Anonymous - 16/1/2013 06:42

Today, I was the last person in line for going on the bus. Incidentally, I was right behind a guy way taller and wider than me. When he got on the bus, the bus driver immediately shut the door behind him. I was left outside chasing after the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35757

You deserved it

2388

Favorite

By ... - 29/11/2008 11:50 - France

Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

36433

You deserved it

11917

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By freeachickadee | 7

#6086408 - Saturday 11 October 2014 2:13

By lakaiskate | 12

#6086035 - Friday 10 October 2014 15:43

Time to work for someone who appreciates your talents.

COMMENTS

By LiamakaLiam | 12

#6086032 - Friday 10 October 2014 15:39

Rekt m80

By xmaan667 | 15

#6086033 - Friday 10 October 2014 15:43

I guess that means you can't deal with them.

garrett_8614 | 14

#6086120 - Friday 10 October 2014 17:18

But seriously, what does that even mean?

sayyestothedress | 24

#6086290 - Friday 10 October 2014 22:51

I LOVE the way OP wrote the FML

By monstermatt001 | 13

#6086034 - Friday 10 October 2014 15:43

Oh that sucks. FYL op.

thevelociraptor | 31

#6086194 - Friday 10 October 2014 19:30

There's a button for that.

sayyestothedress | 24

#6086291 - Friday 10 October 2014 22:52

Thank you captain obvious!

By lakaiskate | 12

#6086035 - Friday 10 October 2014 15:43

Time to work for someone who appreciates your talents.

By jackczap | 7

#6086036 - Friday 10 October 2014 15:43

Idjits.

ShadowlessSpear | 21

#6086256 - Friday 10 October 2014 21:13

Injuns

By LovableShannon | 12

#6086038 - Friday 10 October 2014 15:44

Just tell it how it is. Idiots

By itsjustsofunny | 17

#6086042 - Friday 10 October 2014 15:47

FYL. That is a pretty funny reason though.

cheeeksss | 29

#6189324 - Sunday 1 February 2015 7:33

No it's not.. It's like an excuse to get out of a promise to OP. I don't find that funny at all...

By MattM95 | 16

#6086043 - Friday 10 October 2014 15:49

Sorry to hear that OP. On the bright side you still have a job (it really sucks that you have to deal with idiots but that is the case with most jobs).