Health: Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to...

By crippy - 26/06/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are!" and laughed hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 015

You deserved it 3 071

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Same thing different taste

By Jen_ - 26/01/2012 22:08 - France

Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 499

You deserved it 3 033

Charming

By FootyFoot - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied, "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 846

You deserved it 3 276

Such a Saint

By hungry/grumpy/disabled - 17/07/2022 12:00

Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 144

By whovian221b - 25/08/2015 22:46 - United States

Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 985

You deserved it 2 141

How could you?

By Lolzords - 14/09/2010 10:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking down the stairs holding a glass of water, when I tripped. I don't know what hurts more, that I'm still picking glass out of my hand or that my mum is still ranting about the water I'd spilt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 809

You deserved it 2 754

Unbelievable

By Anonymous - 15/08/2013 17:39 - Spain - Mon?var

Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 029

You deserved it 3 462

By Anonymous - 09/03/2017 04:00

Today, I was giving my one-year-old a bath. I'd finished washing her, so she started to play and splash. When I went to lift her out of the tub, I slipped and busted my kneecaps on the side. Guess who sat there and laughed hysterically as I cried out in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 170

You deserved it 602

Make it stop

By Anonameow - 26/02/2016 00:31 - United States - Nanticoke

Today, I'm recovering from surgery. Every time I laugh, it hurts so badly I start to cry, which hurts even worse and makes it difficult to breathe. The painkillers I'm on make everything seem funny. I laughed so hard at a dumb pun that I nearly passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 394

You deserved it 1 529

Sandwiches rule

By Sebastian Bonaparte - 11/02/2021 00:30

Today, it's the fourth day since I got home from hospital in a wheelchair after a car wreck. It was also the first day that someone in my house offered to do something for me. My father-in-law visited and offered to make me a sandwich. My response? I cried. My wife and kids laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 765

You deserved it 117

By Tmth - 25/05/2016 22:24

Today, I'm on crutches due to hip surgery. I went to the fridge to grab a bite to eat, but quickly realized if I wanted anything, I would have to eat there. I can't carry anything. Cold leftovers here we go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 375

You deserved it 896

hannaaaahr 33

Tuesday 26 June 2012 11:46

charming mother you have.

zandalee 19

Tuesday 26 June 2012 11:50

Hit her with your walking stick.

Comments

talloctopus 7

Wednesday 27 June 2012 3:06

She's mean.

rcgirl2 11

Wednesday 27 June 2012 3:25

She seems like a doll.

mccutie936 6

Wednesday 27 June 2012 3:25

Sucks to suck...actually it doesn't....hmm

luna2495 0

Wednesday 27 June 2012 3:42

Charmimg!!!! And how old is your mother?

hockey9462 3

Wednesday 27 June 2012 3:48

I know how u feel... I have a broken ankle and my parents say the same thing!

KiddNYC1O 20

Wednesday 27 June 2012 4:49

She on drugs...

hateevryone 14

Wednesday 27 June 2012 6:11

That was a low blow.

grannygruber 6

Wednesday 27 June 2012 6:28

Let me guess, to get revenge you buried her vibrator in the bottom of the litter box???

grannygruber 6

Wednesday 27 June 2012 6:32

My whole family does stuff like that to eachother all the time. Grow a set of balls, get your head out your ass and laugh, it's called a joke!

maclieberman 5

Wednesday 27 June 2012 6:37

wow...sorry but ur mothers an arrogant bitch for that, fyl

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Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 510

You deserved it 3 700

Today, I finally had a breakthrough in therapy and got some much needed clarity in my life. After breaking away from the fear-based religious indoctrination that I’d been force-fed my entire life, I came to the conclusion that I regret every decision I’ve ever made, including the husband I accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 215

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 712

You deserved it 3 451

Today, I’m going to a audition and my partner is scared that I’ll never come back, and is not supportive of me. Seriously, why did he come back just so he could be so depressed and then not support me at all? FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 237

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 741

You deserved it 23 699

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 807

You deserved it 10 498