October Spooks

By FML Videos - 04/10/2018 18:30

Scare or be scared.

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 64

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Stand up guy

Missed opportunities

By biscuit - 07/01/2011 05:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 378

You deserved it 25 766

By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 998

You deserved it 2 788

By NYMTS - 01/07/2011 23:22 - Australia

Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 305

You deserved it 10 892

By spiderlady - 21/09/2015 03:00 - United States

Today, I walked face first into a near-invisible spiderweb. There's nothing worse than the feeling of a spider web wrapped around your face. Except maybe the feeling of the spider that saw my screaming mouth as a good hiding spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 942

You deserved it 2 161

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 17:54 - United States

Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 102

You deserved it 24 310

By TheCerealKiller - 07/08/2012 09:19 - United States - Northridge

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 247

You deserved it 2 700

By oops - 14/08/2014 21:54 - United States

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 073

You deserved it 81 382

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 16:00

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs and the next seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 190

By SLAB_GIRL15 - 01/08/2012 07:59 - Australia - Port Macquarie

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 362

You deserved it 3 059

By Anonymous - 02/06/2017 11:08

Today, I accidentally covfefe

I agree, your life sucks 2 843

You deserved it 1 566

By denise - 23/11/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 812

You deserved it 4 929

By XxFA1LxX - 22/07/2012 13:57 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 2 497

Tunnel vision

By IHaveThePower - 26/10/2021 23:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, after years of being an avid knitter and typing for a living, I got carpal tunnel syndrome… from my wrists flopping around too much while I'm driving. I live half an hour away from the nearest city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 91

The Hulk

By Anonymous - 10/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder, meaning that I involuntarily fly into a rage without provocation. It's only controlled by healthy eating and sleeping. I work too much to get any sleep, I don't make enough money to eat well, and my disorder limits my ability to find a job that pays more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 298

By rapper in training - 11/02/2012 01:02 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 717

You deserved it 3 091

By Nator - 09/02/2009 15:31 - United States

Today, this guy took me to Denny's on a first date and used a 2 for 1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 091

You deserved it 5 115

By Gracie - 24/05/2019 12:02

Today, I was having a cigarette in a smoking area when a mother with a pram strode towards me and exaggerated a cough to make some sort of point. Reluctantly, I put it out and walked off. I then turned around to see her lighting up a cigarette, and blowing smoke all over her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 849

You deserved it 270

By sunburychick - 13/09/2009 09:27 - Australia

Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 782

You deserved it 26 073

Creep

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 04:00

Today, I found out that the guy I've been anonymously sexting with through an adult website is the seriously creepy stalker-ish front desk worker from our office building, who also happens to be the building owner's son. Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 1 872

By broken - 28/07/2009 17:12 - Saudi Arabia

Today, my family and I were just about to leave the house for the vacation that I had been saving up for 3 years. I was coming down the stairs with a heavy suitcase and I tripped and fell breaking my leg, now my family's gone without me while I'm in hospital. I paid for the vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 541

You deserved it 3 815

By I hate nasty people - 05/04/2012 16:18 - United States - South Bend

Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 791

You deserved it 2 154

By Mandy - 09/05/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, I finished a drawing that I spent over 14 hours working on for my mom for Mother's Day. I took it outside to seal it with fixative. I took of the clear lid, shook the can, then sprayed red spray paint all over my art. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 649

You deserved it 24 628

By fatty - 21/11/2012 06:20 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I yet again purposely avoided the 'Health and Fitness' section on Pinterest to keep my self-esteem up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 524

You deserved it 18 749

By KayyElOh94 - 17/10/2014 22:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 667

You deserved it 3 791

By satega - 17/11/2012 09:15 - United States - Smithville

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 075

You deserved it 3 498

Sex ed

By Anonymous - 14/01/2022 05:01

Today, despite warning her multiple times, my daughter has gone and got herself pregnant by an idiot who has never held a job for more than 3 months, and once confidently told me the moon landing was a conspiracy. And yes, he scarpered the second he found out she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 163

By Sick - 28/01/2017 16:00

Today, I noticed a thick layer of mold growing inside the straw of my water bottle. I use that bottle every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 678

You deserved it 4 668

By voicelesspeasant - 03/11/2016 20:41

Today, weeks after I paid extra for faster shipping, I received confirmation that my paperwork for overseas voting has been received. Too bad the deadline in my state was yesterday. Thanks, Postal Service, for the consistency of your failures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 732

You deserved it 818

By riiiighhhttttt - 05/08/2013 05:38 - United States - Laurel

Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 619

You deserved it 4 338

By Broke Bitch - 05/05/2016 21:48 - United States - Albertville

Today, I went to buy some frozen yogurt. I filled up a cup and the cashier rung it up. The total price was $6.92. I only had $5 in my wallet. So I gave her the $5 bill and went to my car to get more money. Little did I know, there was no money in my car. So I drove off. Leaving the $5 behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 905

You deserved it 12 747

By Notthekeytosuccess - 12/04/2017 00:00

Today, I broke my key unlocking my dorm room. When I pushed the door open in frustration, the door opened with no problem. Turns out it was unlocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 545

You deserved it 1 676

By ChestExploding - 20/11/2013 23:53 - United States - Greensboro

Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 011

You deserved it 3 251

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 08:19 - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 584

You deserved it 10 623

By s0728 - 01/09/2014 21:37 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 508

You deserved it 3 292

By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 801

You deserved it 23 569

By ipayyourbillsgorramit - 24/08/2012 23:29 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 352

You deserved it 1 897

The early bird gets the worm!

By WhatADickens - 20/01/2018 19:00

Today, after working on my novel for two years, I found out that another book has recently been published with an almost identical plot. I was going to submit it to a publisher in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 710

You deserved it 376

By MakeDonaldDrumpfAgain - 30/03/2016 05:24 - Canada - Guelph

Today, I discovered that my Dad's family very much supports Donald Trump. They tried to convince me to support his campaign by donating money. We're not even American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 971

You deserved it 2 313

British Broadcasting Corporation

By Anonymous - 27/05/2020 23:00

Today, working from home due to the quarantine, things were going slow so I typed "Lola Fox BBC DP porn" into my team chat, thinking I was typing it into my browser. My supervisor took it down as soon as it happened, but people definitely saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 3 082

Hair of the dog

By shartface12 - 06/06/2014 22:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 939

You deserved it 43 522

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Nearly

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 17

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 5

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 1 102

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 1 252