Health: Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed...

By assholedad - 21/06/2013 18:05 - United States - Dayton

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 212

You deserved it 5 099

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Same thing different taste

By Darth Spasticus - 14/11/2015 09:12 - United States - Flower Mound

Today, my boyfriend was diagnosed with a UTI. He thought men can only get UTIs by "catching" them from a woman, so he blamed me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 684

You deserved it 1 766

By Anonymous - 23/09/2018 17:30

Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 027

You deserved it 176

By Anonymous - 04/12/2015 22:17 - United States

Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 513

You deserved it 1 446

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I had a UTI. After, taking some sample medicine my doctor gave to me, I had a lot of back pain and nausea. I also spent 6 hours in the ER with no health insurance because I thought I was urinating blood. Nope, "peeing red" is just a little side effect my doctor forgot to inform me of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 212

You deserved it 4 545

Apocalypse Now

By dacara6415 - 26/08/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a kidney infection; the symptoms include nausea and having to pee every five minutes. I had to walk six miles in the pouring rain to pick up the medication, peed in the woods twice, got honked at while throwing up on the road, and my boyfriend told me not to complain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 002

You deserved it 153

By hurts.to.pee - 19/01/2012 05:14 - United States

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 198

You deserved it 3 793

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 534

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 728

You deserved it 2 377

By green and not with envy - 13/06/2014 20:17 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 5 797

By BathroomDweller - 20/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, I'm recovering from a urinary tract infection. The infection made me have to pee constantly. Now the antibiotics I'm taking for it are giving me the shits instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 907

You deserved it 384

BrookieAnn 19

Saturday 22 June 2013 2:14

Tell him to piss off

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 22 June 2013 2:17

I dream that one day that will be me. Punning is an infectious humour; and one that is gaining tract-ion on this site.

Comments

M3DIC4T3 29

Saturday 22 June 2013 2:26

Your dad sounds like he'd be really annoying and obnoxious. FYL OP.

Cheeley 17

Saturday 22 June 2013 2:28

You don't like those puns? Hopefully you don't see this or any of the other comments on this story OP.

cheernomore15 14

Saturday 22 June 2013 2:28

Urea'lly sound pissed. Try to have a sense of humor about it, these things don't last forever.

buckdharma 36

Saturday 22 June 2013 2:29

Is he flashing wang signs? Your dad might be a wangbanger.

shaww 28

Saturday 22 June 2013 2:29

the father of puns.

olpally 32

Saturday 22 June 2013 2:29

Is your dad Peter griffin? Lol. That would explain a lot. Till then, shut up, meg. Haha. :)

olpally 32

Saturday 22 June 2013 3:14

Whoops, totally missed and didn't see that op is a guy... FML. Bury me to oblivion. :(

BanAnnalee 12

Saturday 22 June 2013 2:30

Don't take it too seriously :) although this just gives you a chance to pick on him.

perdix 29

Saturday 22 June 2013 2:38

He should show you some R-E-S-P-E-C-T, you know, from that song by Urethra Franklin.

MeLoveCats 7

Saturday 22 June 2013 2:39

just go along with it. by posting this on FML you just got a whole bunch more puns. :)

LissaMccracken 23

Saturday 22 June 2013 2:41

I would find it funny... Haha. But everyone is different so FYL

Keywords

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You deserved it 76

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I agree, your life sucks 59 946

You deserved it 4 337

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

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You deserved it 2 129

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I agree, your life sucks 13 191

You deserved it 46 896

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I agree, your life sucks 29 184

You deserved it 2 495

Today, I realized just how pathetic my life is when I found myself fascinated by videos that a woman posts on YouTube of her removing ingrown hairs and zits from people’s private areas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

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Same thing different taste

Apocalypse Now

Night terrors

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