Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML
Today, after I had the place to myself for a while and it was easy to clean, my roommate returned and I woke up to trash piling up, dishes everywhere, and luggage full of sweaty laundry. Oh, and it smells like poo again, because he doesn't regularly shower. I want to scream. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML
Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML
Today, I learned that my housemate used a dry vacuum to unclog the toilet before moving out and then didn't change the vacuum bag. He left several weeks ago. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
meggieeeee92 27
I would request a new roommate. That is disgusting. Who does that?
shinikageWolf 15
God forbid they move their ass a bit and shit in the toilet like a normal human being.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (158)
Silverfeathery 21
OMG that's absolutely horrible. I agree, get a new roommate because not only is that disgusting, it's not normal.
chocolatefrog28 29
What in the name of all things sane... this roommate needs either an intervention or an exorcist.
greatkate2020 14
WTF?
hurley12 30
Why? Just why!
Elignore 7
Not a very warm welcome
LaurenRoxsU 9
That DOES depend on the logistics #59. ETA of the said err... departure... if we are being technical. It might have been right at 98.6 degrees! Just sayin'.
Bragi 12
Sound like a severe OCD.
CaptainCookie 8
No, it does not.
Bragi 12
68 - oohhh yeah, practically a case study. Using the toilet becomes too complicated, involving too many ritual behaviors repeated in sequence, so he stopped. Most begin around that age and get worse over time. One I remember was a kid that stored his poop under the sink in tuperware.
RobinGoodfellow 47
I'm so glad this made it through moderation. I clicked yes faster than you can say "Oh shit."
Colon_Man 17
Wow. That's nasty. I have a pretty disgusting medical condition that requires me to get quite involved in cleanup after sitting, and this made me gag.
Gowackie 14
Please post a follow up on this. Especially about your resolution to the problem.
lazrguideddonut 3
gotta save water man its a drought.