Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of my dad blasting porn on his computer. FML
Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, my dad, who lives hours away, called and told me he was getting married. Today. As in this evening. Guess I'm not invited. FML
Today, my wedding celebration came to an awkward pause when my dad slapped my mom across the face and called her a whore after she admitted to having an affair. FML
Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML
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Top comments
Rainhawk94 27
Maybe it was female tennis.
SmuggletheBudgie 15
He just wants his own white wedding.
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Comments (83)
SgtAssCheeks 21
Sad women cry. Sad men fap.
perdix 29
The good news is your fiancé now knows a go-to guy for his bachelor party.
chilevmv 7
There's a good chance he was probably still fapping while talking to you.
wzq455133 5
who can tell me what does the porno mean
Chris93Jones 20
it's like a harry potter film without magic, but things do dissappear in things, then reappear, then disappear, and so forth. repeatedly.
fmaon06 10
Perhaps you could have offered to call back later when he wasn't busy.
lenehey 7
Oh, and dad--one other detail. Since your **** is apparently more important to you than your own daughter's wedding, you're no longer invited. This way, you can spend more quality time with your hand. Have a great life. Click.
Zebediabolical 43
Well, daughter, since I'm not invited I guess I'm off the hook for paying for it. Good luck with that! *click*
Chris93Jones 20
you are going to be a hilariously sassy father. I look forward to seeing your posts.
aantthhoonyy 6
if he had paused it he would have had to wait for it to buffer all over again..
kievking 14
Maybe her mum wanted some input to assuming there was no porno.
perdix 29
"Dad, should I go with the cocktail wieners or the meatballs? The meatballs or the cocktail wieners? Dad? ...Dad?"
lunatone 1
this reminds me of when my ex answered a phone call from his mother while we were having sex...some people can do both I suppose