Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML
You got mail
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. When we took a break and went downstairs, he checked the mail. He had received a letter from his ex-girlfriend, which he opened in front of me. He then began sobbing on my shoulder and broke up with me. He still had to drive me home. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML
Broken
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in the parking lot right before a baseball game, then convinced me to still go to the game in tears. After the game, we were walking back to the car and he goes, "So, how about some break up lovin'?" FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in my front yard. As I stormed off in my dramatic exit, I realized I had locked myself outside. I had to ask my now ex-boyfriend to borrow his phone so I could call my mom. FML
Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend after driving 200 miles to see him. While arguing, I told him I never wanted to see him again and left after slamming the front door. I left my car keys in his kitchen. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house, I heard him shout, "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, get back here!" He was talking to his cat who'd run out the door behind me. FML
Safe drive home
Today, my boyfriend asked me to text him when I got home after driving 40 miles in bad weather from his house back to mine. When I did, he broke up with me. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years, telling him he needed to be more responsible, and stop relying on me for everything. When I told him to leave, he told me he needed some gas money. FML
Wrong place, wrong time
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. Naturally, I drove over to my best friend's house for comfort. My boyfriend saw me driving past his house and promptly broke up with me for being "a psycho stalker." She lives across the street from him. FML
Top comments
lyndis_fml 0
If you were prepared to listen to his speech, why did you break up with him? Should have tried to work shit out before you did something stupid. Since this is on FML, you're obviously upset that he doesn't want you back, so breaking up with him was just some ploy to get him to pay attention to you. Grow up.
meltingwalls 0
You deserve it. badly.
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Comments (94)
terkwashere 0
lucky it wasn't me, i would have been far more cruel.
bbobe900000 0
this isn't very clear. the OP never said whether or not she actually WANTED him to beg to get back together. DramaQueen you need to make more clear what the FML is. hell, for all we know, he could mean that he bought her a cell phone, and that he wanted it back from her now.
helmut90 0
What an fing attention hog of a girl
Mignun 0
It's your own fault. You should've talked before you left.
DoctorDoomed_fml 0
The funniest part of this description is how you immediately assumed he thought you were worth it. That indicates many things about you. I would tell you to be less self-absorbed, but you would most likely just rationalize that I can't possibly "know" you, and therefore cannot understand your situation. Regardless, your ego needs to go on a diet before you'll have any success in relationships.
giganticbrain 0
Well put! I must say, most people on this shithole of a site just use acronyms and abbreviations to try to convey their point, but you were able to formulate actual full-length sentences. Plus which, you summed up just about everything I have to say about this disgusting ignorant **** who thinks she actually matters.
GatorBites 0
Why is this a fml? This is a classic case of masturbation. You screwed yourself. You're an idiot.
echarperouge 0
So just keep driving
echarperouge 0
Wait... you dumped him? WTF kind of retarded bitch are you? That's so not an FML.
Guitarist45 0
this is the stupidest fml ever! YOU broke up with HIM. wouldn't you want your cell too?
arms_akimbo 0
Haha. You suck.
amodelqueso 0
Your life is ****** cause you broke up with a guy and you're still broken up with him? Strange...