Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss. I didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, but it turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm "high maintenance." I'd only asked him to use deodorant and brush his teeth. He hasn't had a shower in over a week. FML
Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
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Top comments
mpj13 8
It's no ordinary toothbrush. But still it's a toothbrush so get over it
jewwybeanzzz 10
more concerned about your toothbrush then ending a relationship... Wow your relationship must have been... Somethin else. That or you really love your toothbrush.
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Comments (92)
skyeyez9 25
Aren't those around $80?
mikeymayhem_87 15
One does not simply buy a new Sonicare toothbrush...
love_me_electric 20
How does OP possibly deserve this? SHE ended the relationship, why should she be sad about the breakup? And I'd be upset if someone stole anything from me, even if it's just a toothbrush.
Derpylicious 3
Wow. More people think you deserved it? Seriously? Why? Is petty theft supposed to be justice for ending a relationship that was going nowhere? What should she have done? Continued a relationship that was obviously not going to work and waste the guy's time by keeping him from finding someone he was meant to be with? Is that why she deserves it? Or is it because she felt worse about the toothbrush than leaving him. Woe unto her for doing the obvious, logical thing and not feeling bad about it. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. After all, the internet is full of trolls and dumbasses.
Quikraptor 8
Dude, don't... Don't question it. Just move on. The internet is full of white-knights, and weak-willed people who constantly follow mob-mentality. All it takes is a few idiots to ruin everything.
athlete1990 4
Says the frigid bitch.
Turtle_Man 21
Still a better love story than twilight
_wraith 15
"I think it's time we took our relationship to the next level... I really, REALLY love my toothbrush." Dental hygiene, marriage of the 21st century. I love it!
Needafarm 22
Those toothbrushes cost between $60 to $220 depending on the model and what its bristles are for and all that stuff. They are amazing though. No one deserves to have a sweet ass toothbrush like that taken from them. Good oral hygiene is a must.
SasquatchDeluxe 10
You could always buy a new toothbrush. Depending on your net worth, you could also buy a new boyfriend.
marcsyo 11
Did you cheat on him with your toothbrush?
andiw 6
You sound kind of bitchy I would have taken it too! He is better off and has better hygiene now too lmao