Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss. I didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, but it turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm "high maintenance." I'd only asked him to use deodorant and brush his teeth. He hasn't had a shower in over a week. FML
Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mpj13 8
It's no ordinary toothbrush. But still it's a toothbrush so get over it
jewwybeanzzz 10
more concerned about your toothbrush then ending a relationship... Wow your relationship must have been... Somethin else. That or you really love your toothbrush.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
gracehi 33
Maybe she's more upset about losing her toothbrush than her boyfriend because her boyfriend was an ass hole and she's glad to be rid of him. After all, it was she who did the dumping. That clearly means she didn't want him anymore. Obviously she still wanted her wicked awesome toothbrush, though.
StanSmith2013 26
You care more for the toothbrush than the relationship you have just ended? No wonder you ex took it, he feels hurt.
chuckcloninger 12
$100 for a new one. Buy it, move on and get over it. When he calls saying he took it by mistake just say "It's okay, I got a new one of those too" and hang up. Game over.
crammer1 6
So true..he probably took it because he didn't want communication with her to end. Had this happen a couple of times after ending a bad relationship and I finally realized what was going on and decided it was better to cut my losses and lose some stuff than to have to deal with the drama of getting it back.
chronosphere 18
buy a new one and if you dont want cause that one is special well get someone to beat the **** out of him and steal it back
swimgood 16
Why is everyone acting as though OP is obligated to feel sad after a break up?
partypickle 4
Send him a picture of you with a new one and tell him that if he really wanted a vibrator for his asshole he should have just asked.
simoncat 11
If he stole something you value he's a Malicious asshole and you are better without him. A Sonicare? Really? What a douche.
Ukeee_X 19
Oral hygiene is VERY important.
BrotherTheo 31
Watch 'War of the Roses'. Yes it's Satire, however at it's core, it's true. If the only thing you've lost is a toothbruch, even if it's a pricy one then meh. The all-important thing is to get you through this as quickly and cleanly as possible so that you can begin rebuilding your life.
kingsian 15
My father took the Woolite when he left.