Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss. I didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, but it turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I had only been dating him for about a month. Thinking he wouldn't take it very hard, I invited him over so I could tell him in person. Little did I know he was going to start crying on my couch and not leave for 5 hours. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm "high maintenance." I'd only asked him to use deodorant and brush his teeth. He hasn't had a shower in over a week. FML
Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mpj13 8
It's no ordinary toothbrush. But still it's a toothbrush so get over it
jewwybeanzzz 10
more concerned about your toothbrush then ending a relationship... Wow your relationship must have been... Somethin else. That or you really love your toothbrush.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
Enslaved 38
Those things are crazy expensive! I have an electric toothbrush too-- but it's only $5 to replace. :P
andrew6p 19
Really? Being sad over a toothbrush rather than a relationship that just ended? How old are you?
beehardxcore 26
Although a toothbrush is a weird thing to be sad over, if a relationship is reeeeally bad, ending it is such a relief.
crammer1 6
I just got one for Christmas and they are super amazing and expensive. Obviously her boyfriend was a dick and did passive aggressive things like steal a toothbrush to get back at her. I would probably miss that toothbrush more.
emag_eht 18
She ended the relationship so it must have been bad enough not to work out. I would have been sad over my toothbrush too. They're expensive.
Cali_Italian 8
I broke up with my most recent boyfriend because I wasn't attracted to him anymore. I wasn't upset about it because I had no feelings for him. If he had stolen my expensive electric tooth brush, I would have been more mad about that too.
andrew6p 19
Its a toothbrush for god's sake! Its not like he took something way more valuable! Like if my ex steals my guitar or snowboard, i'd be pissed as hell! If she took my electric toothbrush, id laugh
qirde_15 5
i don't wanna know why u missed the electric toothbrush more than him *cough* *vibrate* *cough*
Yongchi 11
I was thinking the same thing. Dirty minded FTW.
Kkkdawg 27
I was also thinking the same thing.
Catkam623 27
My comment was gonna be oh you love your toothbrush more than him now I really don't wanna know where that things been.
buckdharma 38
That explains op's dumbfounded gynocoligist discovering gingivitis.
mikeymayhem_87 15
I bet the toothbrush is more expensive than most sex toys lol
ilovera 7
Are you serious? How old are you? This is probably the saddest FML I read in a while. So you are actually more sad over a freaking toothbrush than your relationship ? It's a toothbrush, get over it or buy a new one.
mordecaiandrigby 26
She broke up with him; why would she be sad about the end of their relationship?
dan_in_wi 12
and that's why your single...
taranpreet 7
Yeah but..she wanted to be single so..
cnmone 5
Your boyfriend is lucky to lose an idiot such as yourself.
reynechristine 15
That must be some toothbrush..
perdix 31
Are you sure you just use it on your teeth? Guys can't shake their penises at 500 Hz, so there's bound to be some jealousy there.
bexxiiee 11
Wow... Thank goodness he's gotten away from an idiot like you! It's a goddamn toothbrush!
Ozxkar 6
I don't blame your ex-boyfriend. You are a bitch OP. Get a new toothbrush for God's sake.