Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML
Today, my daughter told me she would rather hang herself than hang out with me. All I did was remind her to go to bed at a reasonable time to get some sleep for an activity she likes doing. FML
Today, my daughter had an anxiety attack. Why? Because I told her she needs to be making her bed every day. FML
Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
Today, I bought my kids new mattresses for their new beds. Within 24 hours my son did a cannon ball onto his sister's bed to prove that it wouldn't break. The box spring snapped in half. FML
Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML
Today, I woke up after being sick from the flu and tried to get out of bed. I forgot I was in a bunk bed and broke my ankle in the fall down. FML
Today, as I was laying on the bottom part of my bunk bed, I noticed a beam on the underside of the top bunk that seemed to have no place being there, so I tried to find out what it was. I soon discovered it was to support the bed after it promptly collapsed on me. FML
Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML
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Top comments
rexgar2000 10
hey at least you know shell go straight to sleep every time she goes to bed :)
Justforlolz 14
Where the **** did you build it? Mount Everest?
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Comments (119)
MaskedAspen 6
at least she's asleep, as their purpose intended.
djnova11 4
Haha what a little bitch
KiddNYC1O 22
It's also freezing up there, op.
captainfalcon7 0
she can sleep on the bottom? I don't see how this is that bad.
Kap10 0
She was prolly really really excited.lol.
Mikemfm88 6
Ill help her break them in ;)
RokNRoll11 9
CRITICAL FAILURE!
itsfreakinliv 8
So let the kiddo sleep on the floor.
queenb1621 21
That sucks
immortal628 20
I've always been terrified of heights. When I was a little kid, I tried to climb a tree and fainted. Phobias are a pain in the ass. I still hate trees.