Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML
Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML
Today, same as every other day, I had to pick up around 8 spoons because my cats love to take them and drop them on the floor around my house so they can listen to the noise. FML
Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML
Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
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Top comments
TurtleSmile 14
That's too bad. Did you count all of them to make sure you didn't lose any?
deathpotato 11
A firm grip usually fixes that problem.
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Comments (188)
missjennjones 0
haha how funny xD
brookemurray17 5
That's what vacuums and the store are for.
pocoipoco 0
I was expecting a rain man moment there- disappointing.
Batmark 10
why did it take 20 minutes to pick up the toothpicks? 500 toothpicks really isn't a lot of toothpicks... if you picked them up one at a time then you would average 2.4 seconds handling each toothpick before moving on to the next toothpick, but if you picked them up in groups it would have gone a lot faster... unless you stopped every so often to spend a moment thinking about how clumsy you were to drop them in the first place. hopefully experience in toothpick clean-up paid off and the 2nd recovery of the picks went a lot faster.
tirc 34
murphy
pandamaster19 3
This should be a f* k my day not a fml
carabara09 11
The post above yours is about the movie Rain Man, I just lost it!!! Lol
allyciagutierrez 7
why didn't you sweep them all up??
flossingpancake 18
Fool me once OP