Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML
Today, I was the only girl in gym class who couldn't lift the weight, and the only one to fart multiple times during the attempt. FML
Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML
Today, I went to the gym and accidentally farted during yoga class. Everyone looked at me and the instructor said, "Let's all take a moment to appreciate the power of core strength." FML
Today, I was doing squats in the gym. During a set, when I squatted deep down, some poop came the fuck out, like a rocket. It was so embarrassing, and luckily there were fewer people in the gym than usual. FML
Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for "anti-social behavior." FML
Today, I went to my gym and tried a new workout machine that had just been installed. I set the weight too high and ended up stuck halfway through a lift, making weird struggling noises. Most people around me stopped and stared as I awkwardly dropped the weights. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
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Top comments
RickySleeves 20
Maybe you broke two records then!
TheGolfGTI 24
See OP, this is what happens when you try to toot your own horn.
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Comments (81)
Starfire950 5
better then most of the FMLs about lifting weights
BurningGrannies 16
That... is just beautiful
aecribb 14
I feel your pain OP. I did the same thing in high school, only not breaking a record and in front of a girl I had a big crush on. It's embarrassing, but the embarrassment only last so long, hopefully not as long as your new record
Taurus_ChicKa 37
At least you didn't blow out a muscle or something. I've heard of people lifting too much and literally blowing out their buttholes. Gross and painful.
irishboyjoy 5
I almost shit my pants when we were maxing out in athletics this year
ncbenfield 7
At least you didn't shit your pants
Bchili 9
Break records, break wind