Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML
Today, I found out that my parents are 28,000 dollars in debt and that my bank account has $27.17 in it. They took my money to help pay their debt. FML
Today, I asked my parents if I had a college fund because I will be going to university in two years. They laughed. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, I told my father I registered for the Marines, and that I'm leaving for bootcamp next week. He asked if this means that he doesn't have to pay child support anymore. FML
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because I'm in the military and I'm gone too much. The reason I enlisted in the first place is because we agreed that the money and benefits I would earn would help us be able to start a family in the future. FML
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Top comments
XCarCrashHeartsX 0
Dang, man that's ****** up.
Doopliss 0
Well, that is a reasonable question, you are putting your life at stake...
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Comments (210)
Einstein714 0
greedy bastards, by the way my friend got 100,000 when her son got killed in Iraq
NoNameAtAll_fml 1
Loving parents
andlifesuxagain 0
Tell them nothing... you can assign your benificiaries.. give it all to your dog and have in the instructions to be living at a animal sanctuary.
ColombiaPilot 0
F your parents
owlowl 0
i have to say YDI for joining ... what did you expect? you're risking your life.
PandaPornography 0
wasn't this already posted??
Haliwali 0
Hehe, I can sorta relate. I enlisted in the Navy last month (I had an FML about that, but not for the reason you'd guess) and my mom spent months trying to stop me. My dad, on the other hand, is ex-army, so he's been cracking joke of a similar, though less morbid, nature.
War_Machine 0
Good for you, joining the military was the best thing I ever did (even thought I am still in training to become a pilot)
Haliwali 0
Norwin?
HotSauce_fml 0
If youre retarded and choose army or marines, id ask the same thing. If your asvab is higher than 10 youre over qualified for the 2 branches mentioned above. Trust me, i work with all 4 branches. Marines and army all wish theydve joined the af or navy.
steel2 0
af and navy are lame sandwiches with sides of weak sauce
conmanusmc 0
im in the marines and im perfectly fine with that. i didnt even think twice about it
ibemad_fml 0
YDI for joining the military and being suicidal.
dk2008 3
Joining the military doesn't make him suicidal, it just makes him courageous for laying down his life to protect your freedom.
theanonimouse 0
i feel like a broken record, but no, they're not protecting your freedom. in fact, americans lost a lot of freedoms due mainly to this pointless war. but that's just anti-american of me to say, isn't it?
dk2008 3
No, i feel it is pro-american to express your beliefs.