Miscellaneous: Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was...

By kk - 09/01/2013 16:07 - United States

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

agreeclassic 55 756

vote type 1 5 333

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By kelly - 21/03/2011 07:07 - Estonia

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I'm coming over for a visit. She answered: 'Why? What do you need? Food? Money? I'm not going to help you! You're a grown woman!' And she hung up. I just found out that I'm pregnant and she was the first person I wanted to share it with. FML

agreeclassic 50 330

vote type 1 4 786

By preggo - 04/12/2009 00:02 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML

agreeclassic 36 021

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By speed-dialing dr kevorkian - 27/02/2016 07:25 - United States - Two Rivers

Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML

agreeclassic 26 179

vote type 1 1 325

By Dig4life - 05/06/2015 13:42 - United States - Kent

Today, after telling my mom that I'll be going to Las Vegas with my dad for my 21st birthday, she started ranting about how my dad always wanted to abort me and that she was the only one who actually wanted me. FML

agreeclassic 29 791

vote type 1 2 292

Her body, her choice

By Not a grandma - 15/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the hospital for a few tests, and it turns out that she's pregnant. She has always said that she doesn't want kids, but I hoped that already being pregnant might change her mind. She called to schedule an abortion during the drive back home. FML

agreeclassic 191

vote type 1 783

By lawdy - 21/05/2017 20:00

Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML

agreeclassic 4 499

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By ilovemom - 21/01/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, holding my newborn baby and yearning for some affection from my mother, I asked my mom what the best day of her life was, hoping she would say the day I was born. Her answer? "The day you moved out." She was serious. FML

agreeclassic 33 272

vote type 1 6 670

Family values

By family sucks! - 06/10/2021 23:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I ran into my aunt I hadn’t seen since I was a child. My mom told me she took off and stopped speaking to everyone. After lunch, I asked her why she left. She said our whole family ostracized her for aborting her abusive husband’s baby and divorcing him instead of "making it work." FML

agreeclassic 2 416

vote type 1 123

Domestic

By I’d rather be homeless - 24/01/2022 17:01

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mother, during which she told me she wished she’d thrown herself down the stairs the minute she discovered she was pregnant. I told her, “There's the stairs, help yourself!” She called the police and told them I threatened to push her down the stairs. FML

agreeclassic 1 403

vote type 1 187

Revelations

By Anonymous - 29/09/2021 20:45

Today, I told my mom I was thinking of having a baby. She told me it was a huge mistake because children cost a fortune, make you miserable, and if she'd had her chance again she would have gotten her tubes tied when she was 18 and saved herself the grief. Gee, thanks mom. FML

agreeclassic 1 464

vote type 1 273

shaniahthecurlyl 6

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:06

I am sure she was joking - if not, that is depressing..

fuzzbuck1 4

Wednesday 9 January 2013 19:07

She should of swallowed that load then.

Comments

Satoaoi 13

Thursday 10 January 2013 11:01

that's something to tell child services. she might kill you in your sleep. sleep with one eye open

jonsey974 3

Thursday 10 January 2013 12:27

Apply ice directly to burned area.

BostonBear 33

Thursday 10 January 2013 15:00

that's pretty funny if you ask me

deadlydeathhound 3

Thursday 10 January 2013 15:27

LOL XD that made my day haha

thejust666 6

Thursday 10 January 2013 21:23

Lmao

AriSwagg 9

Thursday 10 January 2013 21:53

That's horrible.

BVBARMY1238 9

Thursday 10 January 2013 22:33

I like this FML!

mzbailey21 1

Friday 11 January 2013 0:57

Why would you say something like that to your child? Even playing.

Obey_StudBoii 23

Friday 11 January 2013 2:45

What a bitch

suumbuum 13

Friday 11 January 2013 8:28

Idek why I'm laughing about this but hahahahaha

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Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Even after several hours I wasn't able to climax. My girlfriend now thinks that I don't like her body, and the reason I couldn't orgasm is because I don't like having sex with her. We spend the rest of the night in silence. FML

agreeclassic 36 997

vote type 1 6 783

Today, after being together for 8 months, I learned that not only was my boyfriend a liar, but that he is also married, and has been for 4 years. FML

agreeclassic 3 127

vote type 1 282

Today, I came home to find water dripping from the ceiling in my apartment laundry room/pantry. All of my groceries were ruined. Maintenance's suggestion? "Put a bucket under it." FML

agreeclassic 9 744

vote type 1 718

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

agreeclassic 30 511

vote type 1 6 835

Today, I went to a going away party for a coworker. I had brought weed for the party and at one point a guy asked me if I have a Grindr. I replied, "No, I don't use those dating apps. I do have a Fetlife but that's it, if you want it." He apparently meant a weed grinder. Most awkward 3 hours ever. FML

agreeclassic 575

vote type 1 1 313

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

agreeclassic 28 204

vote type 1 2 409