Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. We've been dating for almost 5 months and are extremely in love. His mom basically said to me, "I want what’s best for my son and you aren’t it." FML
Today, I now have been dumped by 4 serious girlfriends in the last 5 years, each of them for the same reason: Being with me would have meant dealing with my mother who, without fail, asked each of them when we planned on marrying and having kids, every single week. FML
Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML
Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's phone titled "People's I've had sex with". There are also dates next to the notes which represented the day he had sex with them. Not only that it was NOT me who is the last person on the list, but I also realized that the last person on the list was my best friend. And he's a guy. FML
Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML
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Top comments
loveandzombies 0
Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer....
poopooface 0
Why would you ask that in the first place? ... as if you wanted to know who the other 4 people where.
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Comments (191)
xqme 0
whoo..internet fight! just like the special olympics...even if you win you're still retarded... the only difference? the people participating in the special olympics are happy regardless...kinda makes us internet fighters a sad case to watch.. fightfightfight!
MKC_fml 0
Man, it's because of women like you that men think we (women) ask 'trick' questions just to cause an argument....Why would you even ask such a stupid thing? If he's with you, obviously he likes you enough to want to **** you, isn't that enough? Did you really think he'd say 'You're the only one I've ever wanted to bone'? come on....
newstud 0
is your mom single :)
derfboy23 0
It sounds like "Stacy's mom has got it going on..."
shani__ 0
People are right... It could have been worse.. The list could have gone: #1- (Insert hot girl here) #2 - Your mum. #3 - You. #4 - Your Grandmother. #5 - Your father. You're luck, huh? My boyfriend dumped me 'cause my mum was hotter than me. Now he is dating my friend's mum...
Snerkie 0
i assume you can't take a joke : or you're stupid enough to ask a question that would in some way not have your approval of the answer
Endymion_fml 0
Awesome threesome potential, right there.
RespondomaticMan 0
One of the things I live by when I'm dating a girl is, "How attractive is her mom?" If she's still a sexy lady at 40, then I tend to feel safer assuming that the girl I'm dating will be too. Take it as a compliment, you've got longevity. Lets face it, I don't want to marry a woman that will stop being attractive 5 years after marriage. This may upset some people, but I'm not just ANY guy, I have standards.
kenddrraaa 0
Lmao at all above comments. Totally agreed.
ditlihi 0
What a sick, sick, sick, sick little boy. Wait! Any possible chance he was making a joke? Of course. His Mom? I guess you didn't like his little joke.