Love, Annoying and Growing old: Happy together

Happy together

By Anonymous - 05/07/2023 02:00

Today, I finally reached the age where me just being alive annoys my wife. She asked me during a movie if I “have to breathe like that because it’s so damn annoying.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 172

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Same thing different taste

By cj123 - 23/12/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 507

You deserved it 5 484

Bored to death

By squarecircles - 15/06/2019 10:46 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 555

Noise annoys

By Breathy - 07/09/2022 00:00

Today, while sitting next to my mom at a restaurant, she told me to stop moving and making so much noise because, "It's distracting." The noise I was making was me breathing. I'm not even allowed to breathe. Guess I'll die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 151

Keep it down

By Anonymous - 12/10/2021 20:00

Today, in the middle of one of the worst migraines of the year, I asked my wife if she could kindly stop trying to tell me about the latest neighbourhood gossip at 130 decibels. Cue her loudly nagging in my ear about how I’m mean for not wanting to spend time with her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 147

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 21/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I can't sit down for a book or some TV without my wife coming up and moaning at me to "get a hobby, get out of the house once in a while, you never do anything anymore." I have a healthy, balanced social life, but maybe I want to relax in my own house for once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 77

Fate, up against your will

By Gerry - 03/01/2021 17:03

Today, according to my wife of 30 years, I'm finally old enough that I look, smell, sound and act like my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 114

Commitment

By Anonymous - 07/06/2023 06:00

Today, my wife asked for a divorce. Apparently, me being forced to work on her birthday and our anniversary 3 years in a row is the absolute limit she’s willing to put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 843

By Sleep Deprived - 25/12/2011 05:27 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 198

You deserved it 3 808

Red flags everywhere

By Anonymous - 09/10/2023 15:00

Today, my wife started finding everything I do annoying, just after she passed her American citizenship test. I hope there’s no correlation between that and the eight years of support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 199

Mind reader

By Anonymous - 03/10/2024 11:00

Today, my wife bitched me out 3 times in a row, for things that were not even my fault: for turning my Xbox on, even though I only nudged the button accidentally with my toe; opening a beer when it was actually a Pepsi for our son, and walking loudly when I "know she has a headache," which I didn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 128

cuz803 44

Wednesday 5 July 2023 4:09

Couples therapy and communication? I hope that helps

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 5 July 2023 5:02

Get a CPAP machine. That'll shut her up real quick.

Comments

cuz803 44

Wednesday 5 July 2023 4:09

Couples therapy and communication? I hope that helps

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 5 July 2023 5:02

Get a CPAP machine. That'll shut her up real quick.

IHaveThePower 16

Wednesday 5 July 2023 8:39

Sooo...if someone's ragging on you for breathing funny, here's a few quick things to check: 1. Itchy throat? Coughing? 2. Tap just under and just above your eyes. Does it hurt? 3. Does your throat or chest feel randomly tight? If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, you may in fact have asthma, sinusitus, or other such breathing problems. Source: This is usually how I find out I have a sinus infection.