Kids: Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider...

By ihatespiders - 05/08/2014 12:31 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 821

You deserved it 18 855

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Same thing different taste

Wuss

By kenneth - 31/08/2018 01:30

Today, I had to drive 40-odd miles to my grown-ass son's house to kill a large spider on the wall. It had him trapped in his bedroom because his wife had already gone to work. How did I ever raise such a wuss? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 750

You deserved it 1 653

You big fanny

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 17:57 - Germany - Hagen

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 432

You deserved it 31 258

A job well done.

By belly the jelly - 30/10/2017 21:00

Today, I asked my husband to deal with the very large spider in our kitchen. Rather than a newspaper or a slipper, he went after it with an aerosol can and a lighter. The spider is now dead, but so are the wall and cupboards in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 572

You deserved it 678

Irrational fears

By emelie000 - 29/07/2022 14:00

Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 194

Wonky fear

By mala_19 - 27/08/2023 08:00 - Sweden - Burea

Today, I saw a spider. My two year-old knows that I'm afraid of them, but in an attempt to not pass my phobia onto him, I said it was a piece of dirt. Now he thinks that I'm afraid of dirt. I did not think this through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 588

By SpiderFather - 02/07/2013 08:01 - France

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 050

You deserved it 5 866

By Anonymous - 29/06/2019 01:00

Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 679

You deserved it 407

By JustLeaveThem - 25/01/2017 18:00

Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 727

You deserved it 289

She's right, you know

By Anonymous - 27/07/2009 16:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 930

You deserved it 55 984

By AnRom - 17/12/2009 09:58 - United States

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 607

You deserved it 43 947

Lavelle1313 11

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:21

No shame necessary. Sacrifice the children.

brettrb 18

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:21

Spiders are terrifying. I see nothing wrong with this.

Comments

karly55 12

Tuesday 5 August 2014 21:28

I have killed spiders for my parents since I was 12.

Catosama 13

Tuesday 5 August 2014 21:44

Your daughter has bigger balls than you...

martin8337 35

Tuesday 5 August 2014 21:56

I don't like spiders anymore than anyone, but I'll do my own dirty work.

123_omg 19

Tuesday 5 August 2014 22:08

Don't feel bad, I got save from a spider by a 4 year old girl yesterday. I'm 24.

KuzzBuzz3 15

Tuesday 5 August 2014 22:10

it happens .__.

fantasyworld 37

Tuesday 5 August 2014 22:41

Spiders are scary.

ChloeTDCC 7

Tuesday 5 August 2014 22:55

It's okay OP. Arachnophobia has no age limit.

MissBehavin77 18

Wednesday 6 August 2014 0:50

That is so funny but don't feel bad, It's exactly what I would do too.

Um_Awkward_ 12

Wednesday 6 August 2014 1:23

This is gunna be me when I have kids!

twodotgirl 8

Wednesday 6 August 2014 1:57

well I understand... I've been bit bye 2 snipers before

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Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 847

You deserved it 635

Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 131

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 33 820

You deserved it 7 636

Today, I failed on a school presentation because I was not prepared. Apparently, the fact that my computer crapped itself and started giving off smoke last period isn't a good reason for not having my presentation prepared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 034

You deserved it 8 684

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I agree, your life sucks 53 621

You deserved it 3 135

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 404

You deserved it 10 938

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from a girl I've had a crush on for a while. As I was about to accept it, it vanished. She explained later that she clicked on my name by accident, and didn't actually want to be friends at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 583

You deserved it 4 021

Today, my brother slapped me across the face with a piece of raw chicken for not liking his Instagram post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 621

You deserved it 4 357