ihatespiders
London, United Kingdom
Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
kenneth
Wuss
Today, I had to drive 40-odd miles to my grown-ass son's house to kill a large spider on the wall. It had him trapped in his bedroom because his wife had already gone to work. How did I ever raise such a wuss? FML
Anonymous
Hagen, Germany
You big fanny
Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML
belly the jelly
A job well done.
Today, I asked my husband to deal with the very large spider in our kitchen. Rather than a newspaper or a slipper, he went after it with an aerosol can and a lighter. The spider is now dead, but so are the wall and cupboards in my kitchen. FML
emelie000
Irrational fears
Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Disproportionate responses are the new black
Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML
mala_19
Burea, Sweden
Wonky fear
Today, I saw a spider. My two year-old knows that I'm afraid of them, but in an attempt to not pass my phobia onto him, I said it was a piece of dirt. Now he thinks that I'm afraid of dirt. I did not think this through. FML
SpiderFather
France
Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Freaked out
Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML
JustLeaveThem
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
She's right, you know
Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML
Top comments
Lavelle1313 11
No shame necessary. Sacrifice the children.
brettrb 18
Spiders are terrifying. I see nothing wrong with this.
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Comments (105)
taybear0 14
young kids are pretty fearless. as long as it wasnt a deadly spider, there is no shame in this
Abdelhady 6
arachnophobia ?
slyde32 12
no, he loves spiders
airportlad 4
You bitch
CrysisKing 5
The real MVP!
xIlluminated 6
You handled the situation better. I would've burned the house down
Macherni 5
42 years old...yes. A man....don't think so, pussy.
worldclassrager 41
Better than burning the house down...but I think that will be the option when your daughter is having a sleepover with a friend or something
ethan_unoxx 29
Don't worry bro. I feel you.
alex_622 22
Your daughter killing the Devil's spawn for you is a problem because...?
ZorroRooster 19
Sack up, dude. Its just a spider. Unless it was a black widow or funnel-web, I see no reason to freak.