Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML
Today, for my birthday, my husband gave me a dress he stole from my wardrobe. It was the one I'd bought myself on my last birthday because he forgot to buy me anything, and gave me cash in a brown envelope. Not a birthday card, a brown envelope. FML
Today, my mom ordered my birthday presents on eBay. Too bad she used my account, so when I went to look for ideas, everything she bought me popped up. It's so much stuff I don't want, need, or will ever use, and it's on my credit card. FML
Today, my wife, being very considerate, bought me a new phone for my birthday. That would be fine and dandy if cops didn't then enter my house and say I stole it. Turns out my wife paid $900 from MY credit card to the person who stole the phone. FML
Today, my husband booked a restaurant and a trip to the theatre for my birthday, and even got me some nice jewellery. It’s not my birthday. It is his ex-girlfriend’s birthday though. My birthday isn’t for another four months. It’s the thought that counts I suppose. Idiot. FML
Today, my husband got home on my birthday and told me he went overboard and bought a real expensive gift for his favourite girl. He then turned round and gave the real expensive gift to the girl in question, his 3 year-old niece. It’s not even her birthday. I got fuck all. FML
Today, for the third day in a row, my wife is bitching about her terrible birthday. She had messages wishing her a happy birthday from her friends instead of actual calls. Also, she knew that my pay comes in the day after, and she agreed to go shopping with me, as opposed to a present on the day. She is 54, going on 7. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I asked everyone for iTunes money, pleased to finally be able to buy some new songs for my iPod. After receiving several gift cards, I discovered that my iPod had been stolen. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CantTouchThat 29
Don't be like that OP. It's the thought that counts. Yes either way you paid for your own gift but 1. As your wife your bills are hers and 2. She clearly knows you well enough not to even ask you want you want for your bd. This isn't an FML but rather a coincidence. Quit bitching a be happy with the wife you have and your new vinyl.
Jonathan Riedel 10
no...? he didnt get the Money back? why would he?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
CantTouchThat 29
Don't be like that OP. It's the thought that counts. Yes either way you paid for your own gift but 1. As your wife your bills are hers and 2. She clearly knows you well enough not to even ask you want you want for your bd. This isn't an FML but rather a coincidence. Quit bitching a be happy with the wife you have and your new vinyl.
ccabrer 1
hahaha omg I just laughed so hard at this.. (*sigh*) the married life... it happens. -Cabrera Wife
Conner Dalbeck 15
so technically he kept the money because she Paid for it with his money but got his money back so its a win win
Jonathan Riedel 10
no...? he didnt get the Money back? why would he?
lucasj2345 7
wow. at least she got you something you'd like. you sound like a dick
duchessdoughnut 2
Your bid must’ve been directly below hers then for you to lose to her. If she’d bid a huge amount over, eBay change the price to £1 more than what the previous bid was. If you set your bid at £100, eBay bids up to that amount on your behalf based on what other people are bidding. It’s your fault.