Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML
Today, my boyfriend is so ashamed of me that when someone asked how far along my pregnancy is, he quickly replied "5 months now!" instead of telling them I'm not actually pregnant. FML
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Today, I was proudly telling my husband that I only gained 8 lbs throughout the pregnancy thus far. I usually obsess over my weight, so it was a great accomplishment for me. He then turned and pinched my arms, saying, "Well, looks like all the fat migrated to your arms." FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
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Top comments
rosha267 21
Your pregnant! What's his excuse?
SkoomaKi 28
Oh never insult a woman, especially if she's pregnant... OP give him hell.
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Comments (177)
The_Hitdude 12
Next time he talks abou his dick, just say: "You're not hung like a horse honey! If anything, you're son's is bigger than yours."
mylife47 0
Women.
ycrem0n 21
A woman brought you into this world, so you have no right to disrespect one.
The_Hitdude 12
55: Nobody should disrespect anyone. Period. Is there anything wrong with that?
icallbullshit 3
15. I tried commenting 'women' once and I got a warning and an email saying I was sexist or whatever to which I responded with my side, my point being I have no idea how yours is still up here lol! And the truth is you actually came out of your dad first and foremost, sperm cells determine gender.
alychick 5
Wow
The_Hitdude 12
Next time the topic of his dick comes up, just say: "You're not hung like a horse honey! If anything, your son's is bigger than yours." Then give him a pat on the crotch.
SoSickWithIt 14
So the wife, which would be the mother of said son, would know how big her sons penis is?... That's awkward.
MigraineurOfLife 15
Sosick-- Considering she is the parent of the child, of course she would know. How is that awkward? Kids don't come out of the womb with the ability to take care of themselves.
Duojet 2
She's pregnant. She's gonna see her baby's junk... Assuming she has a boy
RoseCrystal 17
*facepalm* Men appear utterly clueless when speaking to pregnant ladies. Never call them fat, they will kill you in your sleep!
desireev 18
It may seem that your husband temporarily lost brain cells during your span of pregnancy, but I assure you that it is just your hormones! Let's pray that he really isn't that dumb! :)
coried91 28
My husband was the same way with the jokes. It was his one chance to call me fat without me really caring. Then again he was very helpful so he had permission to poke fun at me. =]
smileygirl1201 0
Awwwhe you poor lady. That's so mean.
MysticKnight 3
neither do I for that matter
monkeyCanDoMYJob 7
Expecting common sense from your husband after he called you a fat pig? HAHAHAHA...no, just tell him why you're upset
Birdie_Sage 0
It's your hormones making you overreact, try and explain the situation to him, in detail.
lucy_hewitt15 6
Sometimes men don't know what to say and it comes out like word vomit.