Health: Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There...

By Pain - 28/06/2010 23:37 - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

agreeclassic 13 011

vote type 1 72 235

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Time to go topless I guess...

By aubrey - 14/10/2017 01:30

Today, I accidentally gave myself a chemical burn. It hurts like hell and I've been told all I can do is wait it out for a few days. The worst part? It's from a reaction to a cream I used all over my chest. I can't wear a shirt without being in immense pain. FML

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By Seriously? - 15/05/2013 21:47 - United States - Irvine

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

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By nimrod23 - 18/10/2009 09:28 - Australia

Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML

agreeclassic 42 085

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By Anonymous - 08/04/2011 15:30 - United States

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

agreeclassic 13 930

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Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

agreeclassic 1 440

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What? Why?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2024 05:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML

agreeclassic 53

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By anonymous - 05/02/2014 02:48 - United States

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

agreeclassic 38 931

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This is lit

By a genius - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

agreeclassic 14 919

vote type 1 60 307

By Anonymous - 07/03/2012 06:29 - United States

Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML

agreeclassic 14 326

vote type 1 46 107

By Anonymous - 17/07/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML

agreeclassic 9 440

vote type 1 90 854

FFML_314 11

Tuesday 29 June 2010 2:57

OP YDI for smoking

keekah 0

Tuesday 29 June 2010 2:57

Ydi. Don't smoke. It kills you.

Comments

balletdancer21 11

Friday 26 November 2010 18:54

u idiot DONT SMOKE!!

imnother 2

Monday 17 January 2011 3:38

thats what you get for smoking you idiot

purplepie11 0

Wednesday 19 January 2011 8:58

YDI asshole!! dont smoke it bad!!!

Boobles89 9

Thursday 20 January 2011 23:20

You totally deserved it for smoking. No sympathy at all

hussbogman 0

Monday 24 January 2011 15:33

I bet all the ur life sucks people are smokers

FYLSLOWLY 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 14:19

Definitely a sign u need to quit smoking

sammi_rubs 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 15:00

CARMA

CallumC94_fml 11

Monday 18 July 2011 13:49

Learn to spell before making a witty comment. It's Karma ;)

drewhan 2

Monday 25 April 2011 3:51

thtats what you get for smoking

ikickyourbutt 9

Sunday 15 May 2011 3:05

ydi for smoking

Elfsrock 4

Tuesday 7 June 2011 19:31

you probably shouldn't some

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Today, I went parasailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. On top of that, I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

agreeclassic 45 859

vote type 1 3 478

Today, my wife and I decided to go to an adult store and buy some toys to spice up the bedroom a bit. She wanted to buy a double-edged dildo so "we can use it together". I'm a guy. FML

agreeclassic 2 767

vote type 1 773

Today, I'm a counselor at summer camp. I don't know how to tell the 12-year-old girl in my cabin that I can hear porn playing through her headphones. FML

agreeclassic 4 384

vote type 1 328

Today, a customer phoned, asking to collect an item. I explained that there was no need, as the item had already been posted out to her and was on its way. Her response? Apparently, I don’t deserve to have a set of balls, and I’m lucky or she’d emasculate me. She'd ordered a remote control. FML

agreeclassic 1 125

vote type 1 90

This is some kind of déjà vu.

agreeclassic 150

vote type 1 400

Today, I had a job interview that I was quite nervous about. During the interview, I struggled to get my words out and the interviewer angrily told me to, "Get on with it." I continued to struggle and was later kicked out for wasting their time. I have a stutter. FML

agreeclassic 50 880

vote type 1 4 118