Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon-glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

Woof woof

Today, I accidentally followed and inboxed my crush from my dog’s Instagram account. FML

Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML

For science

Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML

Today, I got pulled off a hugely important project, all because I accidentally spelled "country" as "cuntry" in an email to our client. FML

Today, I meant to forward an email to my friend mocking a coworker's email, but I hit "reply" instead of "forward". FML

Curb your curb

Today, on my way out of a coffee shop, I tripped over a curb while holding a full cup of coffee. The coffee flew in slow motion, hitting a stranger right in the face. As I stood there, frozen, I realized the puddle of coffee was now surrounding both of us. All I could do was apologize while trying to avoid a public fistfight. FML

Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill. My cat ate it before I could pick it up. FML

Are you OK?

Today, while thinking about something cringe I did, I accidentally said, "Oh fuck!" aloud during someone's speech. The room besides me and the speaker was otherwise quiet. FML

Monday Monday…

Today, I used my new French Press to make my morning coffee. Turns out, I pressed too hard, and the entire press disassembled, turning my morning into a caffeinated crime scene. FML