Today, for about the fifth time, my neighbors parked blocking... - FML

By Anonymous - 2/4/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, for about the fifth time, my neighbors parked blocking my driveway. After parking across the street I stuck a note on their windshield reading “Nice park job asshole“, only to find out that their nephew just passed away and everyone was gathering to go to the viewing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28538

You deserved it

53626

Tweet

Share

Capitalism kills

True hero

Thanks ma

By PeterRabit - 25/7/2009 15:11 - Canada

Today, I was walking around in a park when I pass some kids playing soccer. One of them kicks the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily I catch the ball. Then I drop kick the ball, intending to say "go get it." Instead it ricochets of a nearby tree and hits my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19804

You deserved it

47063

Tweet

Share

By ihatekids - 20/4/2015 16:57 - United States - Billerica

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31064

You deserved it

3689

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/8/2009 17:03 - United States

Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44848

You deserved it

23062

Tweet

Share

By sk8rgurl - 28/6/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I was testing for figure skating. I was wearing a brand new custom dress that was a halter top. On my first move, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Immediately after retaking the move, my dress snapped open, exposing myself to the judges. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50249

You deserved it

5517

Tweet

Share

By anonomys - 5/9/2011 19:19 - Canada

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30176

You deserved it

10081

Tweet

Share

By rs - 30/6/2012 18:36 - Egypt

Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8498

You deserved it

25252

Tweet

Share

By Adil Ilahi - 5/6/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - Keighley

Today, my friends yet again told me to hop on Tinder and other dating sites, saying how easy it is to match up, and I keep telling them I will soon. In reality, I've been on them for weeks, without a match. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3719

You deserved it

293

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/5/2011 19:21 - United States

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

I agree, your life sucks

22964

You deserved it

71903

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/9/2019 00:02 - United Kingdom

Scruffy 'erbert

Today, I was in the garden of my new house when a neighbour came over and told me to clear off or she would call the owner to tell them they were being burgled. When I told her I was the owner, she said I was clearly unsuitable to be living on this street, and to stop lying before she called the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1986

You deserved it

112

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/4/2011 05:49 - United States

Today, I held a door open for my boyfriend and jokingly said, "Chivalry is dead?" He responded with, "Who's chivalry?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

34160

You deserved it

7836

Tweet

Share

By -__- - 27/12/2013 21:49 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49690

You deserved it

4541

Tweet

Share

By A.Summers - 30/9/2013 22:41 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45877

You deserved it

11441

Tweet

Share

By dpod121 - 4/3/2010 19:41 - United States

Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24350

You deserved it

9182

Tweet

Share

By Mavis - 3/2/2009 07:54 - Canada

Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45045

You deserved it

3202

Tweet

Share

By Sophie - 17/2/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43799

You deserved it

3715

Tweet

Share

By hurtsmyears - 7/11/2011 01:23 - United States

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33208

You deserved it

2350

Tweet

Share

By Darla - 5/10/2012 08:14 - United States - Arcadia

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21656

You deserved it

12879

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/3/2011 11:43 - France

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

I agree, your life sucks

58739

You deserved it

4884

Tweet

Share

By noname - 25/6/2010 17:29 - United States

Today, my mother wore a see through shirt. She wasn't wearing a bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52416

You deserved it

5164

Tweet

Share

By Divorcee - 15/7/2019 04:02

Today, I learned that my wife had been cheating on me. What's worse? My kids found out three months before I did, and told me that they like him better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2370

You deserved it

234

Tweet

Share

By Barry Wom - 28/11/2018 12:00

Today, my boss is out of the office and sent me an e-mail asking me to multiply two numbers together and send her the result. Apparently she doesn't know that her smartphone has a calculator app. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2468

You deserved it

152

Tweet

Share

By ThisisMedSchool - 1/11/2012 21:18 - United States - Johnson City

Today, while studying liver pathology and highlighting important lines in my textbook, I realized that I could count the number of words I hadn't highlighted on one hand, over the last six pages. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20332

You deserved it

8855

Tweet

Share

By London - 18/9/2009 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. I went into hospital to get it put in a cast, but still went into school afterwards. I got written up for truancy because I didn't have a doctor's note. The cast was still on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42042

You deserved it

3342

Tweet

Share

By adeeri - 4/9/2014 01:24 - United States - Jackson

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36198

You deserved it

3206

Tweet

Share

By seussical65 - 14/4/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20702

You deserved it

93311

Tweet

Share

By Emmpag - 2/2/2020 01:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg

And then.....

Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2161

You deserved it

740

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 1/2/2009 10:53 - United States

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70948

You deserved it

6245

Tweet

Share

By asdf - 2/2/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47175

You deserved it

2748

Tweet

Share

By crazylobster - 14/11/2009 16:52 - Australia

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10503

You deserved it

31473

Tweet

Share

By oldtexas - 13/8/2009 07:27 - United States

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10230

You deserved it

67291

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/5/2015 20:02 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30237

You deserved it

2447

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/2/2017 20:00 - Canada - Westerose

Today, our family cat died. I had to explain this to my 2 small children, who had no experience with death. I ended up bawling like a baby while they consoled me, telling me she had, "gone to a better place". FML

I agree, your life sucks

6971

You deserved it

1147

Tweet

Share

By yosmurf - 11/3/2017 18:00

They're perfect for each other!

Today, I took my brother to the ER. His bimbo girlfriend told him he has "ironing board abs" so they had the bright idea of ironing her clothes on his stomach. When the Dr. asked him why he didn't stop if it burned, he said he didn't want to look "like a pussy". He'd have likely drowned if she'd gotten it right and said "washboard abs". FML

I agree, your life sucks

5477

You deserved it

538

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/1/2016 06:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22998

You deserved it

2138

Tweet

Share

By Abeille - 17/3/2011 00:50 - Canada

Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33831

You deserved it

3918

Tweet

Share

By Liv - 29/10/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Great Bookham

Today, my mother was talking about a holiday she went on this time last year. She turned to me to say, "You would've loved it, it's a shame you couldn't come". I was there. It was just the two of us on holiday together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42749

You deserved it

2777

Tweet

Share

By Aaaaahhhhhhhh - 23/8/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to carpenter ants coming out from under my baseboards. I went out and bought bait traps and now there are flying ants coming out of the woodwork. If I try to sleep they crawl on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2709

You deserved it

149

Tweet

Share

By buttpain - 11/1/2017 13:25

Today, being a snow day, I decided to take a nice nap before resuming cleaning my room. Changed back into pajamas, climbed into bed, and found that one of the cats peed on my sheets. I've made negative progress, and had my underwear soaked in someone else's cold urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5937

You deserved it

1019

Tweet

Share

By Poppleton99 - 11/2/2016 06:06 - United States - Cedar City

Today, I was hanging out with a friend out of state. He had some friends with him and we were all having a great time, until they found out I live in Utah. They instantly assumed I was Mormon and started to act weird around me. This is a frequent occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21119

You deserved it

1958

Tweet

Share

By Rolax - 6/11/2008 09:38 - France

Today, my boyfriend came up with this thrillingly romantic proposal: “I’m paying way too much income tax. How about we get married?” FML

I agree, your life sucks

60283

You deserved it

6016

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By adelaide_evening | 0

#78067 - Friday 3 April 2009 0:28

That really sucks. However, they really still shouldn't have blocked your drive way. They should've been the one to park in the street or something. Alas, a politer note would probably have conveyed that better.

By may_cause_fail | 0

#78081 - Friday 3 April 2009 0:30

That is an immature way to respond.
However, that is annoying and illegal on their part. A nicer note might have been a better solution, but I understand how frustrating that can be.

COMMENTS

By pkmlove | 0

#78066 - Friday 3 April 2009 0:28

oh wow that sucks...

#1! :)

Reply

wooters | 1

#1008764 - Thursday 27 May 2010 3:24

this isn't a YDI no matter what anyone says cause,#1 he didn't know the kid passed away. #2 cause the guy shouldn't of parked blocking his drive way no matter the circumstances he couldve went a bit farther down the road without dying.

Reply

max_wilder | 9

#2239000 - Friday 25 March 2011 11:28

yah fuck them if they parked like asshole leave that note they still deserve it even if there was a death in the family. Last time I checked sadness does not impair you from parking, your fine I would have done the same thing.

Reply

kyliebear | 15

#2934882 - Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:46

Yeah, but OP said that this was the fifth time that the neighbors parked blocking his/her driveway. They wanted to see it five times? This is no way an FML.

By adelaide_evening | 0

#78067 - Friday 3 April 2009 0:28

That really sucks. However, they really still shouldn't have blocked your drive way. They should've been the one to park in the street or something. Alas, a politer note would probably have conveyed that better.

Reply

TiNyBuBbLeZ | 0

#2307348 - Thursday 7 April 2011 6:15

polite note my ass

By truslide | 0

#78080 - Friday 3 April 2009 0:30

oh well. they blocked your property. death isn't an excuse

By may_cause_fail | 0

#78081 - Friday 3 April 2009 0:30

That is an immature way to respond.
However, that is annoying and illegal on their part. A nicer note might have been a better solution, but I understand how frustrating that can be.

By Zerenade | 0

#78088 - Friday 3 April 2009 0:32

Eek, that's definitely awkward.

Even so, they should at least tell you or warn you before blocking in your driveway.

Still very inconsiderate.

By TRAX_fml | 0

#78089 - Friday 3 April 2009 0:32

You didnt know, i mightve not resorted to being a dick but would have pissed me off nontheless, i would have spoken up but at least you did

By lynx_fml | 0

#78094 - Friday 3 April 2009 0:33

I find it kind of odd that you noticed it was the fifth time. You left your house and came back five times?

Reply

HomelessDonut | 9

#6063505 - Saturday 13 September 2014 2:45

He means it happened four other times. This is the fifth time. Read

By anteatereater | 0

#78096 - Friday 3 April 2009 0:33

no excuses for crappy parking. im sure there's easily free parking farther down the street if they werent such lazy assholes

By downeyjr | 0

#78099 - Friday 3 April 2009 0:34

Given their luck, they should probably be the ones writing the FML..

By michellefleeger | 0

#78100 - Friday 3 April 2009 0:34

You should've keyed their car or slash their tires. If it's the fifth time it happened, they would deserve it, even if their nephew just died.

Reply

GMS1 | 7

#1380940 - Friday 10 September 2010 8:31

agreed. who cares that he died. no excuse for crappy parking.!