Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I'm ashamed at ever having become a parent after I found out my daughter has been leading an online bullying campaign against a girl at her school who has disabilities, both mental and physical. Some of the language she was using in the online messages were just disgusting and unforgivable. FML
Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML
Today, my daughter decided to come out to me by leaving a browser window open with the results page of an online "Are you lesbian?" quiz. FML
Today, I learned that my 11 year-old daughter wrote a love letter to her teacher. Cute, right? It was an incredibly graphic letter where she asked him to "abduct her and chain her up in his basement." I now must find her a new school and a therapist. FML
Today, I asked my mom to help my daughter with Zoom school while I handled an emergency. When I got back, I found out my mom went through my laptop containing all my documents, my emails and even the journal my therapist suggested I keep. She says she was looking for a Zoom link. Yeah right. FML
Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML
Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
She must really hate My Little Pony.
droidlover 14
Call the veterinarian ASAP!!
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Comments (106)
DocBastard 40
She probably put that "up" in the search by accident. So yes, you should be concerned that she's searching for how to blow a horse.
ninjuh_wingman 29
So she was trying to figure out how to make a bomb to blow a horse? Strangest bomb ever.
DocBastard 40
Shh. You're ruining it. I'll admit it sounded better in my head.
justtheotherguy 12
She's into porno.. When I do it like a horse I always get a great ********
speakersboom 19
RUN, SEABISCUIT, RUN!!!
foxy_grampa 19
So therapy about the bomb, and a tutor for probably English, unless she really wants to blow up a horse then therapy will suffice
perdix 31
She's so stupid, she'll probably end up joining Al Queso, the cheese terrorists.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
I laughed at your comment, then face-palmed for laughing at such a stupid, yet clever comment, then laughed some more.
touch_phobia 13
I'm conflicted. Looking through search history usually doesn't reflect on a person so I don't think am internet search was quite necessary, what did you expect to find? On the other hand I can't really argue when what you did find was, indeed, worrying.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
You do realize you completely contradicted your entire statement, right? At first, you said " Browser history doesn't reflect who a person is," then you said, " But what you found is worrying." As you said, however, OP has nothing to worry about because browser history doesn't necessarily reflect who a person is.
icyyicee 1
you must be the daughter right?
mad_scientist 2
Sounds like she has the mane idea even if d' tails are a bit off. Hope you wither this crisis OP.
NavitasNexus 3
You're even more illiterate then the OP's retard of a daughter.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
23- What in the HELL were you trying to say?
tiernang 21
Edit: reply to wrong comment
kitsune309 15
It's a string of horse puns, guys....
G_bear24 9
She needs therapy like now!
zoegirl_455 30
I'd really like to know what this "recent behavior" of your daughters has been...
worldclassrager 41
Hope she doesn't bring her psychologist to tears...
kms494 4
Call a psychiatrist! That's what all the mass shooters have done.