Intimacy, Sex, Weird and True Crime: Crime is not a crime - FML

Crime is not a crime

By Chad - 30/08/2024 14:00 - Belgium

Spicy

Today, I invited a guy over for some quick fun. I had the TV on for some background noise. I couldn't see the TV the way I was facing but he could. I didn't realize until he left that I had a true crime series on the whole time. What bothers me the most is that he definitely wasn't turned off by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 402

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Same thing different taste

Moving

By happyasaclam - 19/02/2009 00:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 096

You deserved it 6 052

Check these out

By notenough - 29/08/2009 04:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 435

You deserved it 10 095

By Judy69 - 07/04/2012 07:04 - United States - Dekalb

Spicy

Today, things were getting heated between me and the guy I like, and we were about to have sex. I told him to turn the TV off so we can get started. His response? "But I like this show." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 622

You deserved it 6 034

By smokecloud_ - 30/12/2013 21:38 - United States - Ashland

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 293

You deserved it 5 380

To the end

By Anonymous - 27/11/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend turned down sex because he was watching TV and wanted to know how it ended. The show was probably ten years-old and on Netflix. He could watch it anytime he wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 136

Caught spunk-handed

By Anonymous - 28/07/2020 23:01

Spicy

Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 2 221

Disinterested

By lily - 13/09/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 347

Fascinated

By Anonymous - 09/04/2009 19:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of a sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House MD was on. He'd stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 421

You deserved it 15 281

Get it on

By Anonymous - 21/04/2016 20:28 - United States - Fremont

Spicy

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 586

You deserved it 1 770

On a loop

By Anonymous - 28/10/2023 05:00 - United States - St Louis

Spicy

Today, I got home after a long day and decided to unwind a bit. I put some porn on the TV but promptly fell asleep. I woke up three hours later to the same video playing, but realized a had left my blinds open. I broadcasted three hours of Athena Faris having sex to my whole street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 479

Next

Top comments

angus 9

Friday 30 August 2024 14:53

What makes you think he was watching TV or paying attention to the screen🤷‍♂️?

JIMMY2CHAINZ_84 2

Friday 30 August 2024 19:50

maybe he was enjoying being inside of you and not paying any attention to what was on the tv.

Comments

angus 9

Friday 30 August 2024 14:53

What makes you think he was watching TV or paying attention to the screen🤷‍♂️?

JIMMY2CHAINZ_84 2

Friday 30 August 2024 19:50

maybe he was enjoying being inside of you and not paying any attention to what was on the tv.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, it's only day three of my annual vacation. Rest and relaxation? Afraid not! For the past days, I've been haunted by the constant thought of how much work will be piled up when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 136

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 1 322

The Top

Today, I found out that my brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of Warcraft money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 805

You deserved it 4 862

Today, I found out I was qualified to go to a magnet school. My mom threw the papers away, claiming she thinks I shouldn't be with "rich and snobby" people. She grew up as a rich snob and has a fortune waiting for her when her parents die, and she brags about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 99

Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 321

You deserved it 39 733

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 069

You deserved it 8 421

Today, during the party for my last day at my old job, my office wife professed her love for me. We’re both married, we have no chemistry, and I’ve been dumping my work on her for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 1 050

Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 164

You deserved it 37 527