Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, at the ripe age of 29, I pooped my pants. It was a little diarrhea and I had expected it to be a fart, so I quickly had to grab my shorts, waddling to the bathroom, commando. FML
Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML
Today, I was constipated and strained so hard that I threw up into my pants and all over my shoes. I was at work, and no, I didn’t have a change of clothes. FML
Today, for the first time in a while I decided to wear a skirt. Everytime I sit down my thighs trap air and make a farting sound. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
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Top comments
badboy6865 0
wow. i signed up for an fmylife.com account just so i could say this... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
jayfx 0
oh my god..
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Comments (173)
supersize_fml 0
and the person who posted that username is squirty_JOE a guys name. Unless he wears mini skirts to work.
krissy33 0
Still, it's posted by a WOMAN. I think that's more important than the name, which is probably a joke.
Mattyknows 0
pics or it didn't happen.
squier21 0
haha you gambled and LOST, girl. Best of luck to you.
notlaughingwitu 0
LOL. you deserved that one for sure.
mehwhateverr 0
I agree, FYL. I don't see how people think you deserved this.
UpperSanctuary 0
Pain in the belly - Mother always used to say "If you're stomach hurts, go sit on the pot." If you had a smart mother like mine, you would have known to rush to the commode. I am surprised that SquirtyJoe didn't have enough upstairs to head to the toilet. I hope she's learned a valuable lesson about her anatomy and how it works. I hope she cleaned up after herself, too. She might want to learn how to do kegels, it strengthens the muscles in the pelvic area, so you can learn how to hold your bowels until you reach a toilet. Good luck, you sound like you need it. PS Farts usually come out, they never need to be fully pushed.
nyah_nyah 0
#78.... pics? WHAT? ewwwww... why would you want a pic? @_@ lol... im so sorry, hun... thats... thats just unfortunate...
formosababie 0
hahahahah shitty...
Superman8_fml 0
hahaha #6 is absolutely right ...and that is pretty sick chubbs...
meow_meow_fml 0
aha wouldn't it have been safer to do it in the bathroom?