Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, at the ripe age of 29, I pooped my pants. It was a little diarrhea and I had expected it to be a fart, so I quickly had to grab my shorts, waddling to the bathroom, commando. FML
Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML
Today, I was constipated and strained so hard that I threw up into my pants and all over my shoes. I was at work, and no, I didn’t have a change of clothes. FML
Today, for the first time in a while I decided to wear a skirt. Everytime I sit down my thighs trap air and make a farting sound. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
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Top comments
badboy6865 0
wow. i signed up for an fmylife.com account just so i could say this... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
jayfx 0
oh my god..
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Comments (173)
AliceWalker 0
Awh. That's lovely.
rydogster 0
nasty
stfuchivonne 0
ewww. how'd you get out of the building? I want to know the after part of this story
RunZoneFive 0
Thats terrible! I hope you're feeling better
MukyDaCookie 0
Awww that is disgusting. So did you go home after claiming you weren't feeling well? Did you continue the rest of the day in the sh*t shorts?
xMooMoox 0
Squirty Joe huh? Well that name is disturbing. And you said "I'm WEARING" a mini skirt today, does that mean you just cleaned it up and kept it on? What do you have to say for yourself Squirty Joe? I understand that stuff happens, when I was in 2nd grade I peed myself in the girls bathroom. I had waited to finish what I was doing before I went (always the perfectionist), and there was a line.
bassmaster_pat 0
a mini skirt at work? ****
17Master 0
#103, shush. Lesson learned: Go to the bathroom just in case.
Icalasari 0
And that is why I go to the bathroom if the fart is even slightly stubborn
jadieeeee 0
At least no one was around! That would be a billion times worse.