Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML
Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML
Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, while working at the bar, I had a beautiful woman squeeze my bicep and tell me I was in amazing shape. Instead of flirting like any normal human being, I awkwardly said, "Thanks…" and then walked away in shame. FML
Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML
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Top comments
Free4ever 6
Your milkshake brings all the customers to the dealership?
Volcan_fml 22
If you've got it, flaunt it.
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Comments (46)
TheyCallMeDamien 18
.......it's better than yours!
onorexveritas 24
some tig ol bitties
DanielleinDC 34
Oh. Ew. I guess there's a fetish for everything now.
Xotoolyxo 16
So odd...
dan_in_wi 12
haha... moobs, that's great. your humps, your humps, your lovely manly humps!
knoxxx 22
And now you know a small portion of how objectified most women feel almost every day of their lives. Congratulations.
rockbandaddict85 22
hmmm....sounds like some kind of bet went on. I sucks being the butt....umm "boob" of the joke lol
gemmadaws 3
Time to hit the treadmill fat boy
HowAreYouToday 34
yes
Geary519 20
what cup size you working with?