Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML
Today, I came home in an awful mood, and grumbled to my wife that sometimes I want to strangle my boss. My wife regularly screams up and down the house over the most minor shit, but apparently this upset her so much that she took the kids to her mom's, and is demanding I get anger management. FML
Today, my wife went into the bathroom at Walmart. Being almost sure there was no one else in there, I stood around the corner to scare her. As the door opened, I jumped around the corner and scared an innocent woman to so badly she peed herself. FML
Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life." I'm 26 and just very short. FML
Today, I was at Walmart with my mom when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML
Today, in a store, an obnoxious woman, swearing loudly and slapping at her out-of-control kids, was disrupting the whole place. I said to the cashier, "That nasty woman should leave the brats at home." She gave me a filthy look and said, "Do you mind? That's my sister." FML
Today, the TV was blaring, the kids were yelling, and my wife was blabbering on in my ear. Overwhelmed, I shouted, "EVERYONE QUIET!" I got a second of blessed silence before my kids started screaming and crying, and my wife threw a tantrum, saying, "I married a psycho!" FML
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Top comments
broderickc 13
Literally the definition of being in the wrong place at the wrong time
starile 20
Throw some chocolate at her, maybe that will calm the beast!
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Comments (129)
wolverine47 10
Lawsuit
Just1SarahKay 11
Annnd that's why you should shop at Target instead. ;)
ak_6694 16
So all the things my American friends say about Walmart are true
NotoriousLES 14
Sadly, yes... And then some.
phoneYuNOlisten 16
Did you at least talk with her husband about it?
serendipity72 3
Walmart has video surveillance. I'd file charges. Someone needs to get her under control since obviously her husband can't.
circlelranch69 1
Press charges for assault, sue the dumb bitch after the fact fir mental anguish.
jimmywithsalt 19
Um, love the username!
drshn 22
That was just a period-ic outburst.
JoeyBelle18 11
Mace her.
Gangsterrface 10
I probably would be the friend that said it ...and then walked away.