Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I was working in the produce department at my work. A lady came in to return some mangos. I asked her what the problem with the mangoes was. She said she didn't like the way they were talking to her. FML
Today, in last ditch attempt to be an adult, I trotted out to do my grocery shopping for the week. As I confidently strode through the produce aisle, I grabbed what I thought was a nice, ripe mango. At checkout, the cashier kindly informed me it was in fact a massive potato. FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
winsmithy 3
well, at least she didn't ask you if you wanted condoms.
DocBastard 40
Did you also pick up some orangs, gr-apes, and potato chimps?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (102)
emilyxorawr 3
Just wondering what do FML staff do? I wanna work there one day!
NuyoRicanGirl 3
ask #1 he works for fml :-/
sovetskiy 8
Why would you ask that here?
devanbostom 2
that's so funny I wonder what people around her were thinking maybe"what the ****?"
RUSH777 0
Sounds like something my mom would do as well. But I would have responded with something clever, so the people watching would understand the JOKE and appreciate that my mom and I have a good, fun relationship. Some of you teenagers get embarrassed way too easily. Pull your heads out of your asses.
ckturn 0
ur a ****** retard, I'd rather walk away than look like an idiot
soldier4life_88 0
agree with #42
RUSH777 0
Time for a rant. #42, I'm pretty sure you would look like more of an idiot as you try to run away from your mom when she makes an attempt at friendly humor in the grocery store, rather than saying something clever in response to her actions. Don't worry. You'll all grow up eventually, and realize how much of a fool you were for treating your parents with disrespect. Parent's with the ability to act like this are usually free-spirited, fun people to be around. OP's mom could have started to cause a huge scene for an insignificant reason and hit her daughter in a grocery store, which my best friend's mother did to her. Learn how to appreciate what you have. And stop complaining about your parents when all the majority of them want, is to be friends with their children. Sorry, done. Lol And no, none of this was a joke.
Wudadoll7 5
ROFL!!!! I can picture the horrified look on OP's face.
KirstenLovesYou 0
your mom sounds cool. Hahah a bit embarrassing but it wouldn't be embarrassing if you acting as if you didn't care what people say and just say yes with a thumbs up.. or something?
gaga_ooh_lala 0
Lmao!! What's wrong with this. I flippin hilarious. xD
peach6 0
Yeah, I wish my mom had that sense of humor! Hahaha
Koolman189 0
Hahaha number 6 that was hilarious
Proud_vegetarian 0
Awesome mom dude.
heyheyhallo 0
Hah, sounds like something my mom would do as well