Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year-old man with a beer belly. FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I was working in the produce department at my work. A lady came in to return some mangos. I asked her what the problem with the mangoes was. She said she didn't like the way they were talking to her. FML
Today, in last ditch attempt to be an adult, I trotted out to do my grocery shopping for the week. As I confidently strode through the produce aisle, I grabbed what I thought was a nice, ripe mango. At checkout, the cashier kindly informed me it was in fact a massive potato. FML
Today, I took my very talkative toddler to a grocery store. As we passed a woman in an aisle, my kid pointed and said loudly, "Mummy, why does that lady have such a funny face?" I had to awkwardly apologize while my face went beet red. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
winsmithy 3
well, at least she didn't ask you if you wanted condoms.
DocBastard 40
Did you also pick up some orangs, gr-apes, and potato chimps?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (102)
KimmyNicole 0
hahahahaha wickedd funny! i wouldve diiied!
karina02 9
W
Schiffy 18
You should have imitated an angry person back and given her the finger.
stevenmx86 8
Unless you were visiting with your mother as an adult, if you are shopping with your mom, you are still too young for it to matter that you were embarrassed..
awkward_turtles 1
not true. op is probably a teenager so that would be quite embarrassing
Beaniebabima 0
LMFAO!! Parents are awesome in the sometimes not so subtle art of humiliation :)
maybaybe 0
At least she wasn't asking for tampons or something.
IneffableLullaby 13
Hahaha, your mom is a clever one, all right. ;)
JoshGHardy 0
i bet ur black
Neylin 7
This... is something I will one day try on my kids (:
Stupidpeopleanno 5
I would've pretended not to know her by looking down the isle on both sides. Then I would've pointed my thumb at myself and mouthed: "Me?". If she responded by thumping again I would've left.