Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
LANGUAGE, SON!
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table, I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter." FML
Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML
Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML
Incomplete freedom
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Benefits
Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML
Cheers!
Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Top comments
Dusk1 0
We should ship your mother over to Iraq. God bless our soldiers.
alwaysalady 0
That's awful. I give soldiers hugs and tell them thank you. Your mom needs to learn a little respect.
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Comments (721)
rdvd7 0
Soldiers are the finest breed of Human, there are other reasons to join the military besides to fight (Honor, Duty, Comradeship, Patriotic feelings, amongst others.) It's like any other job, it has its own risk and benefits. Also, if Violence 'Solves nothing' then everything Humans have gain from war (Rockets, GPS, Jets, Ejection seats, Parachutes, Radios, etc.) would never have been invented and we would be living in the equivalent of the 1800's, Also War will stimulate an economy and force factories to begin Government production, America flourished during World War 1 and 2 along with her Allies. I had 2 great grandfathers in the US Navy, and 1 in the Kriegsmarine (German WW2 Navy) I never met any of them, but I'm sure they all thought differently than each other. One was at Pearl Harbor on the USS West Virginia (BB-48) I'm SURE he wanted to fight after December 7th, but people who say Violence solves 'nothing' would just want the US to lay there and let Japan take the Pacific and Alaska. I'm going to stop here before I go on a whole spiel.
willyboy1234 0
haha your moms a bitch. *******. :) I like *******.
cag31 0
your mother is an idiot. she should be thanking them for enlisting. if it weren't for our brave soldiers, she may not be able to lead a free life. your mother needs to learn to respect those that serve our countr y. she also needs a punch in the face!!
lissa922 6
gosh u were trying to be nice what a jerk
Chibi_Mia_Chula 0
It's not the girl's fault, it's her mothers. You said sorry to him and he gives you that reply? What an ass.
The_Big_Mac 7
op moms a bitch and those of you bashing soldiers and the use of force are idiots. enough said.
wednesdeyy 5
Your mom is a bitch.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
actually, there should be more people like him. At least he's honest instead of spewing all that "I want to save everyone of you" crap.
immja 0
hey lolzforfun u wouldn't have the priviledge of being able to express ur ignorant opinion if it wasn't for those soldiers
txtrphyhnter 0
dude ur mom can go to hell she doesn't know WTF she talkn bout so tell her to shut the **** up