Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
LANGUAGE, SON!
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table, I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter." FML
Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML
Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML
Incomplete freedom
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Benefits
Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML
Cheers!
Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Top comments
Dusk1 0
We should ship your mother over to Iraq. God bless our soldiers.
alwaysalady 0
That's awful. I give soldiers hugs and tell them thank you. Your mom needs to learn a little respect.
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Comments (721)
Canuckster 7
That's what happens when your mother is an ignorant leftist with absolutely no understanding of current events. For starters, the war was not useless. It rid the world of the worst dictator seen since the likes of Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot, and liberated tens of millions of people. It has allowed the West to gain valuable insight about the geopolitical situation in the middle east. We now know that many Arabs view the west positively, and we now know who the key enemies are in the GWoT. Secondly, joining the Army is in no way dumb. It is an excellent and honorable career path. She wouldn't exist had Americans selflessly decided to defend their country.
Malachite_fml 1
Hey canuckster, i assume you know about the west and specifically, the United states support for saddam when he attacked Iran in 1980, because it was convenient for them for him to put down Iran after the revolution. They supplied him with the chemical weapons he used on the Kurds and other people within his country. The west has supported dictators for decades when they felt it suited their interests. You're the one with no understanding of current events.
Canuckster 7
It's easy to criticize decisions with the benefit of hindsight isn't it eh? The fact is at the time Iran was the greater evil, and in the 70s and early 80s SH's regime was relatively moderate in comparison to other dictatorships. Obviously things steadily got worse when he started killing the Kurds and then standards of living started dropping due to the war debt. Oh and, USA sent Iraq biological agents, not chemical ones.
Malachite_fml 1
Iran was the great evil?!! what planet are you living on. They were attacked by Saddam with the west's blessing. it's quite disturbing how you clearly support backing dictators and then claiming the moral high ground when they start killing so many people that they can't be ignored any longer. The US is responsible for countless hundreds of thousands of deaths in the name of democracy, and is guilty of incredible hypocrisy. I have great respect for soldiers from the united states who put their lives on the line for their country, but to constantly rage about "ignorant leftists" and to assume you're free to interfere all around the world is typical right wing arrogance and stupidity.
Canuckster 7
SH's regime wasn't backing Islamic extremists. Iran has been continuously been supporting Islamic extremists that are a threat to the western world. They and Pakistan are the sole reasons that we have these issues in the Middle East. Almost all the money, training, equipment, etc, that Islamic terrorist organizations receives comes from those states. This is realpolitik son, and its the only thing that's stopping the tide of Islamic extremism from destroying us.
Malachite_fml 1
Nearly fell out of my chair laughing. Blimey you're a real nutter. "tide". I hope you have no plans to run for political office. Islam is not the enemy, people like you are.
Velimir Tchatchevsky 6
Really... and those are the people that "protect" you and fight for democracy. Your mom has a lot better understanding of life and death than you've developed OP...
JackFaire 27
That soldier was an asshole. I was a soldier pre-9/11 I enlisted because I wanted to serve my country. After 9/11 I had to watch a bunch glory hounds that enlisted on 9/12 (not all of them were but many were open about the fact they joined for the glory.) get interviewed. I felt like regular soup kitchen volunteers who watch the Thanksgiving day volunteers get glory for something the regulars do before it's "Cool" to do it.