Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
LANGUAGE, SON!
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table, I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter." FML
Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML
Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML
Incomplete freedom
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Benefits
Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML
Cheers!
Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Top comments
Dusk1 0
We should ship your mother over to Iraq. God bless our soldiers.
alwaysalady 0
That's awful. I give soldiers hugs and tell them thank you. Your mom needs to learn a little respect.
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Comments (721)
pvtsanders 0
sorry, but your mom wss being a bitch. That Soldier had all the right to say what he said... dumb bitch...
Desilin 0
Sounds like your mom doesn't understand the fact that the soldiers enlist so that she can have the freedom to open her mouth and say dumb shit! I feel bad for you though.
icmandel 2
i agree that the war in iraq is an incredibly worthless war fought primarily to distract the country from the hole Bush ran this country into, but i would never speak poorly of the troops fighting the war, they didnt choose where they were deployed. At the same time mouthing a threat to the daughter of an idiot doesnt seem like a very honorable or gentlemanly thing to do.
Midwest 5
I wouldn't call the mom an idiot. There are kids who are signing up because they believe they're "protecting" the US by terrorists. That my friend, is a stupid reason to enlist. Any educated folk would know this. Any educated folk would agree. Unless Red Dawn strikes I'm not going to enlist and pretend to be some hero fighting some mythical baddie because I'm too stupid to separate facts from the lies the government feeds its people. Why do we worship soldiers? Seriously. We should call social workers, doctors, teachers, nurses, plumbers, single parents who try to raise there kids in a decent environment, volunteers who help their community, Boy/Girl Scout Troop leaders, fireman, and policemen, etc. heroes - not soldiers who fight wars based on economical gains. They're poor saps. I have SYMPATHY for them, not admiration. Soldiers would do more good if the joined the Peace Corps - now that's REAL diplomacy.
HofArabia 0
Alot of iraqi civilians died or are now refugees. not to mention the torture scandals in Abu Ghraib.
HofArabia 0
i'm not trying to insult soldiers who fight for the protection of a country. i'm just saying that in any war the civilians and innocents will always have to pay the highest price. I respect the values america is founded upon. Believe me i come from a country where a repressive regime treats its citizens like cattle. While women are treated like second class citizens always subject to scrutiny.
Daviddwd 0
u should deploy to Iraq.
FAYUL12345100 3
Good people fight, sometimes they die doing so, so that ungrateful bitches like your mom can live in a free country and can call them stupid. I hate to hate like this, but there is a special place in hell for ingrates like that.
jcbspence 0
would you please slap that bitch of a mother you have
theArmygirl2011 0
ppl tend to do that and it droves me up the wall I swear soldiers fight where they are told we don't get to choose
MARINE1945 0
that's what happens when your mom is a hippy