Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table, I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter." FML
Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML
Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML
Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML
Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
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Top comments
Dusk1 0
We should ship your mother over to Iraq. God bless our soldiers.
alwaysalady 0
That's awful. I give soldiers hugs and tell them thank you. Your mom needs to learn a little respect.
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Comments (721)
ccc01 1
Congradualtions Your mom gave birth to John Kerry
MetalcoreBassist 0
Your mom is a stupid ******* socialist democrat piece of shit. She probably a member of PETA or some other eco-terrorist group. ******* dumbass. And, I'm just a freshman.
highsheep 0
YDI for taking shit from the soldier, shouldve knocked him out.
RebeccaWvvv 0
That guy sounds like an asshole, you shouldn't feel bad.
YunqFlyMa21o 0
LmfaOo Omq ida been Scared haha
msjd 0
I can't believe she would say that! I don't even know where to start on that! it's not the soldiers fault and whether the war is stupid or not, the people keeping us safe certainly are not. If she "doesn't stand behind them maybe she should try standing in front of them."
Jakojan 4
656, i hope your retarded and not just an idiot... if ive had no training WHATSOEVER in fighting, im not gonna go up and try to beat up a trained U.S. soldier...
okieraider71 4
One tour in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. I would have knocked out half her teeth. And don't give me that ****** crap about I fought for her right to mouth off. I know secret graves full of ***** like her. Snipers rule!
Salwan 0
ALL those soldiers serving in Iraq ARE stupid, they cant get real jobs so they learn 2 pick up a gun & go shoot people, mainly innocent people, coz they re too useless 2 shoot other soldiers!
BlargHonk 0
Wow, your mom's a dick. FYL, OP.