Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "My mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
Today, my family asked where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner. They shot down my every suggestion and decided on sushi. I'm allergic, so the only thing I could eat was a veggie appetizer. Dad said I need to "expand my palate." FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML
Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML
Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML
Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I'm severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML
Today, for my family, my most impressive quality is I can make spaghetti and meatballs. FML
Today, my dad was making a sandwich in the kitchen. Hungry, I snuck in and grabbed it, running back to my room and devouring it. Later at dinner, he dumped a whole scoop of rice in my lap. We all ended up laughing as we cleaned it. FML
Today, my dad announced to the whole family that we will be having a vegetarian dinner this Christmas to make my step-mum happy. FML
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Top comments
Aethren 0
Today I forgot to put sugar in my coffee, FML.
ijkl0marissa 0
Uhm.. why did you shout that? Besides, matzo ball soup (at least at my seder) has chicken in it, and is served in broth, so it isn't a very vegetarian option..
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Comments (174)
masterfade27 0
why do all vegetarians feel the need to mention that they're a vegetarian whenever they can? This FML would have been equally bad if u had let out the fact that you're vegetarian
badactor009 0
Many vegetarians act like flamboyantly gay people regarding a total non-issue. Always in your face about it. You don't hear meat eaters going on and on about their choice of acceptable food. What's next, a parade and a vegetarian pride day? Guess what? Most people don't give a rip what you eat or your sexual preferences. What non issue should we get worked up over next?
lorakf93 0
I LOVE BIG BALLSS.
zombiebombatron 6
WE ALL LOVE BIG BALLS
deliciouskaek 1
awkward, but not awful. how did this even get through?
thekraken 0
OY! You've got to be more careful you do!
Cerataphora 0
Why are there always so many comments to the effect of "why is this an FML blah blah blah I don't know how to stfu"? Just deal with it.
mylifesucks52 0
how do we even know this is a guy? all you people are using 'he', this could just as well be a girl! and what girl doesnt like big balls. but yea...stupid FML. your mind is too clean if you think that is dirty
JeWbOy101 11
It says female by the post so the people saying he aren't paying attention
mysteryman841 0
haha dork. you really did deserve that one.
SpunkT 0
#11, in this case it's relevant, because the reason he/she was so excited was because it's one of the few things they can eat. Jesus Christ, I find more vegetarian haters than pushy vegetarians.
JeWbOy101 11
Gotta love a "Jesus Christ" comment on a Jewish post lmao.. Although since it's about seder and the fact that Jesus was a Jew who's "Last Supper" was infant actually a Seder it is kind of fitting.
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
And what, was your family like "teehee, our child just said big balls! lololololoroflmao" Eyyyye roollll at this FML.
lovergirl666444 0
It's kinda stupid and random..