Today, at 6 weeks pregnant, I went to the ER in the middle of the night for severe abdominal pain, fearing an ectopic pregnancy. Turns out it was just a wayward turd. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML
Today, my son was up at 3:00 am crying due to excruciatingly severe pain in his groin. I took him to the ER. After nine hours consisting of two different hospitals, an ambulance ride, a CAT scan, an ultrasound, and possible appendicitis, the surgeon finally said he was just constipated. FML
Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML
Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML
Today, my very pregnant wife woke up in bed, grabbing her stomach and writhing in pain. Worried that the baby might be in distress, I asked her what was wrong. She gasped then let out what can only be described as a river of hot liquid shit all over herself and my legs. We both cried. FML
Today, I went in for a full hysterectomy due to medical issues. I came out being 6 weeks pregnant. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML
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Top comments
ARISKomuniszt 24
wait... How is that an FML? I mean, surely it'd be good it wasn't anything too serious...
RichardPencil 32
Wayward Turd? Well, at least your child has a nickname already!
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Comments (19)
leeloo7 22
Keep an eye on the poop knife, it may come in handy.
DanielleinDC 34
Better that wayward turd than an ectopic pregnancy. I hope you have a healthy pregnancy.
SwordSlashBlade 13
Just because you can (get pregnant) do any mean you should (get pregnant).
SwordSlashBlade 13
Are you the same person from few posts ago that didn’t know what birth control pills do?
EmDizzle2007 28
classic