Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML
Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back, and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML
Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML
Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML
Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML
Today, as I always do when we get a lot of snow, I shovelled the snow off my elderly neighbor’s driveway. I slipped and fell into a snowbank, breaking my collarbone, and she had to call 911 to help me out because I couldn't snow angel my way up. FML
Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
Today, I wanted to take a nap after cleaning my apartment, so I put the trash outside the front door and put a note on the door for my roommate, saying, "Please take the trash out when you leave for work." When I woke up, the note was gone but the trash was still there. FML
Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML
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Top comments
Haduken 16
At least you already had ice for that burn
adrianh1090 12
At least he was nice.
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Comments (123)
perdix 29
Don't panic, as things get better more and more trivial annoyances will get promoted to FMLs. Back in the day it was, "Today, my wife died in childbirth, leaving me with 8 starving children and a bloody corpse in the middle of our hut. FML." Eventually, you'll see, "Today, only six of my wives gave me ******** instead of all nine. FML." But, in any case, mighty perdix will be there with the snappy comment!
siggy_mcsigx 22
As you rushed to get out before he went back inside? What?
sammyjo06 14
What a weakling. You should be able to drag someone even if you can't lift them. Also, what an asshole to not call for help if you were out cold...
dachayke 16
Either he's weak or OP's heavy. And calling the ambulance could result in legal problems especially if the person who fell claimed that the person who called 911 had something to do with the fall.
siggy_mcsigx 22
But yeah he should Not have left you there unconscious, not just because you probably hit your head, but lying on ice in cold weather could lead to more problems!
jdwmoore 5
sorry op. thats so embarrassing
evolute72113 9
He tried at least
Jarelk 3
Oh man, at first I thought OP was a guy, and I thought "Hey that's actually not bad". But then I saw my mistake and now I just feel bad.
Raesin 21
Now you know he's a douchebag OP and you won't have to bother trying to get his attention anymore. More fool you if you do.
yeongji 31
It seems like he has the looks, but nothing else. I am not sure how cold it is over there, but it should be cold enough to not be left outside when you are unconscious. Anything could have happen to you, whether it be someone taking advantage of you, becoming a victim of hypothermia, etc. You can do better, OP.
imhope 23
At least he unlocked it for you