Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhood's garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML
Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back, and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML
Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML
Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML
Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML
Today, as I always do when we get a lot of snow, I shovelled the snow off my elderly neighbor’s driveway. I slipped and fell into a snowbank, breaking my collarbone, and she had to call 911 to help me out because I couldn't snow angel my way up. FML
Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
Today, I wanted to take a nap after cleaning my apartment, so I put the trash outside the front door and put a note on the door for my roommate, saying, "Please take the trash out when you leave for work." When I woke up, the note was gone but the trash was still there. FML
Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML
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Top comments
Haduken 16
At least you already had ice for that burn
adrianh1090 12
At least he was nice.
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Comments (123)
AestheticSynthia 7
he must be a tiny man then U_U
BigMac92 11
Awe, that would have been so cute if he dragged you inside. Tell him to work out more.
Mailman2121 15
Why everyone seems to be assuming the neighbor is a jerk, and nobody assuming that OP is fat?
zapped3 8
They say he's a douche because the right thing to do when someone hits their head and goes unconscious is get help, whether or not you eventually intend to have sex with that person.
jpest17 5
I would have grabbed rope and tied it around her chest, pulling her up the Ice, only if her body was fully covered so the ice wouldn't scrape her .
it__happens 17
You didn't wake up to a cute guy trying to comfort you? Sad :(
TogeBara 12
I barely ever work out and I could lift my gf...you either need to lose some weight or he REALLY needs to work out some.
pussymonster_xx 8
That's really funny though.
brittttthhhhh 7
Haha aww.. That's so sad though.. But funny
brat0064 17
you were out long enough that he had time to write a note but couldn't take time to dial 911
cnparks1990 9
That's what you get when you let your heart win! (Paramore "That's what you get") XD