By sirradel - United States Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML I agree, your life sucks 27998 You deserved it 37538 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share sirradel tells us more : OP here guys! Just for your information, I'm a woman and my spouse is a man.
By Skyler - United States Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML I agree, your life sucks 62169 You deserved it 14268 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Husband Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML I agree, your life sucks 5327 You deserved it 865 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hoogimo Today, after buying my girlfriend a $700 bracelet for Christmas, I hinted that I wanted a pair of Oakleys. She told me I shouldn't get her anything and that I should expect even less. FML I agree, your life sucks 29229 You deserved it 8638 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Anchorage Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML I agree, your life sucks 54256 You deserved it 12298 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 24888 You deserved it 75184 341 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SuperJesus - United Kingdom Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML I agree, your life sucks 69256 You deserved it 8031 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By is_that_right - United States - El Paso Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML I agree, your life sucks 36793 You deserved it 2930 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BlueSteele220 - United States - Coppell Today, my family got mad at me for eloping and not inviting them to my wedding. Even though they admitted they wouldn't have gone anyway. FML I agree, your life sucks 21423 You deserved it 1920 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RyanM - France Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML I agree, your life sucks 10851 You deserved it 27414 163 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Yorba Linda Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML I agree, your life sucks 24071 You deserved it 7241 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pantsontheground - United States - New York Looking like a fool... Today, my pants kept falling down. Since I didn't have a belt on, I decided to tuck the waistband around my underwear to keep them in place. While on a date, I tried to adjust my pants, but ended up pulling them down along with my boxers. In the middle of a restaurant. FML I agree, your life sucks 1366 You deserved it 2893 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Loughton Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML I agree, your life sucks 28701 You deserved it 3807 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cutiekenz21 - United States Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML I agree, your life sucks 45612 You deserved it 8332 246 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NoBalls - United States Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML I agree, your life sucks 105201 You deserved it 22412 281 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ihateeverything - United States Today, the dentist had to give me a lot of novacaine because my mouth wasn't becoming numb. After the 4th time the entire right side of my mouth was numb, except for the 2 teeth getting worked on. FML I agree, your life sucks 31293 You deserved it 1813 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WhatdyaDo - Canada Today, I spent a solid four hours and over one hundred dollars preparing a nice fancy meal for my new girlfriend. A delicious three pound rack of ribs with a sweet and sour marinade. Steam broccoli with melted cheese. Home made buttermilk biscuits. I serve the meal. She doesn't eat beef. FML I agree, your life sucks 32872 You deserved it 69147 242 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WhyMe? Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML I agree, your life sucks 54028 You deserved it 14955 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ray - United States Das wat u get hoomin Today, we took my cat to get her shots. She screeched and clamored in the car until I took her out of the carrier and held her in my lap...where she immediately pooped on my new white pants and then hid under the seat. FML I agree, your life sucks 3037 You deserved it 2355 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my wife served me with divorce papers that included an accusation that I haven’t given her a decent orgasm since 1996. FML I agree, your life sucks 2427 You deserved it 684 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Red Bank Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML I agree, your life sucks 36362 You deserved it 14236 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cinderella - Netherlands Today, I found my beloved hamster dead in her cage. Later that day, my boyfriend told me he already noticed that she was dead last night, but did not feel like telling me because he was afraid I wouldn't feel like doing it anymore that night. FML I agree, your life sucks 33306 You deserved it 4459 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By danii - Reserved Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 14244 You deserved it 54502 182 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/4/2020 23:00 Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML I agree, your life sucks 1319 You deserved it 506 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Timv86 - Australia Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML I agree, your life sucks 32822 You deserved it 3062 216 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Germany Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML I agree, your life sucks 32788 You deserved it 3808 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lisa321 - United States Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML I agree, your life sucks 11498 You deserved it 116095 238 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chairlee - United States Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML I agree, your life sucks 36896 You deserved it 5009 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anomaly - United States - Trenton Today, I saw a person in my class completing a project that was due two periods later and that they had just started in the bathroom. They got a better grade than me. FML I agree, your life sucks 31242 You deserved it 4795 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Help Today, it's the 11th day of my migraine. I've drunk enough water to piss crystal clear, eaten every type of food there is, slept for days, and tried every remedy in my medicine cabinet. Nothing made a dent in the splitting pain. FML I agree, your life sucks 3797 You deserved it 256 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Providence Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 27201 You deserved it 2739 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML I agree, your life sucks 46912 You deserved it 5338 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pwib - United States - Napa Today, a bunch of my friends have been accepted to various colleges while I've been denied to the past 5. To cheer me up, my mom drove me to McDonald's. While we were in the drive-thru, she asked them if they had any job openings. FML I agree, your life sucks 32111 You deserved it 5189 179 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML I agree, your life sucks 7994 You deserved it 82514 175 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML I agree, your life sucks 36662 You deserved it 3573 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Mountain View Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to accept, but that she'd basically have to get her mom's permission first. Apparently the answer was no. The worst thing is that she really is this unhealthily dependent on her mom, and probably wasn't lying about needing her permission. FML I agree, your life sucks 30854 You deserved it 3378 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jesus - Canada Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML I agree, your life sucks 19217 You deserved it 31861 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By candidcripple - United States Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML I agree, your life sucks 49379 You deserved it 4490 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jim - United States Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at my place for a while. Today, he found out that the quiet, dorky-looking professor who lives next door is an MMA fighter. He tried to break into the guy's house in the middle of the night and is now in the hospital. FML I agree, your life sucks 20256 You deserved it 4134 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I needed to call my mom to get some info so I dialled the number on my work phone. Not 2 seconds after, my cellphone rang. I got super pissed off because I hate when people call me on my cell at work. It was me. I'd dialled my own number. FML I agree, your life sucks 442 You deserved it 2096 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By goldengirl - Australia Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML I agree, your life sucks 24040 You deserved it 16673 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dodgydaly | 11 #5635435 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 8:52 so eat her?? Send a private message 192 3 Reply
By Umbreon01100 | 18 #5635437 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 8:53 Not your fault, buffalo wings are good Send a private message 133 10 Reply
By Dodgydaly | 11 #5635435 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 8:52 so eat her?? Send a private message 192 3 Reply
Reply Umbreon01100 | 18 #5635452 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 8:57 That is considered cannibalism, and cannibalism is frowned upon in many countries my friend. Send a private message 83 5 Reply
Reply Jake_Hale | 7 #5635473 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 9:05 LOL OP you should've said "if only you had the same passion about me as much as you have for sex" Send a private message 2 40 Reply
Reply nurchok | 15 #5635477 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 9:07 Don't be silly #1, eat her out, but make sure to spice it up :) Send a private message 47 1 Reply
Reply Jake_Hale | 7 #5635483 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 9:08 Mmmm oh my god #22 Send a private message 1 32 Reply
Reply Caitie_kid | 8 #5635510 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 9:39 23, you're kind of weird.... Send a private message 52 4 Reply
Reply Dodgydaly | 11 #5635615 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 12:04 #9 most countries... Send a private message 2 12 Reply
Reply soullyfe | 33 #5635738 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 14:41 OP could be a female... Send a private message 8 11 Reply
Reply MATEUSHD | 5 #5635756 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 15:05 Got something up your sleeve there Me. Wonka? Send a private message 3 7 Reply
Reply Kazeran | 7 #5635952 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 18:01 Why do you think it's a her? Send a private message 3 6 Reply
Reply WellThatSucked89 | 13 #5636351 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 23:18 OPs profile states indeed, that she is a miss. Send a private message 5 2 Reply
By Umbreon01100 | 18 #5635437 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 8:53 Not your fault, buffalo wings are good Send a private message 133 10 Reply
Reply JesseAttack | 21 #5662060 - Friday 6 September 2013 21:22 Damn right they are! Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By zaise_chsa | 19 #5635438 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 8:54 There's nothing better than a plate of good wings. Send a private message 76 6 Reply
Reply Caitie_kid | 8 #5635498 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 9:27 It's true. It's a tough decision to make. Send a private message 6 0 Reply
Reply BeccaHugs | 17 #5635559 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 10:14 Now it's time for OP to make his relationship (especially in the bedroom) as hot and spicy as a plate of wings. Send a private message 18 2 Reply
Reply NoFlippinWai | 24 #5635717 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 14:16 put buffalo sauce on her naughty bits and see if she ever makes that connection again. Send a private message 3 18 Reply
By REFF_fml | 9 #5635441 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 8:55 Baby if you were a car id shift your gears :P Send a private message 43 2 Reply
By COSCO | 13 #5635443 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 8:55 Wings > Relationship Send a private message 76 4 Reply
By AnthonyWheeler15 | 24 #5635445 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 8:55 That's a lot of passion, cause you gotta admit, wings are delicious. Send a private message 39 2 Reply
Reply Michele2luv | 8 #5637011 - Wednesday 21 August 2013 9:41 My thoughts exactly lol Send a private message 0 2 Reply
By DocBastard | 38 #5635448 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 8:57 I see you spreading blue cheese on her breasts and licking it off...Mmmm... Wait, I can't tell if I'm aroused or hungry now. Send a private message 81 12 Reply
Reply Grauncho | 26 #5635476 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 9:07 You sir, need to calm down. Send a private message 59 5 Reply
Reply Jake_Hale | 7 #5635496 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 9:25 No he doesn't need to calm down.... That's kind of hot Send a private message 6 33 Reply
Reply gAt_d | 26 #5636229 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 21:33 I'm hungry and aroused! Ohh decisions, decisions.... Send a private message 11 1 Reply
By babeababe | 16 #5635451 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 8:57 Buy her some buffalo wings, then maybe she'll understand. Send a private message 28 3 Reply
By Fluffydemise | 18 #5635460 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 9:00 I see some creative foreplay involving celery and ranch dressing in your future, OP. Send a private message 39 2 Reply
Reply AbstraktThoughts | 13 #5635503 - Tuesday 20 August 2013 9:29 Spread buffalo wings all over her? Then when you finish eating them, go lie down for a nap! Send a private message 10 1 Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 718 You deserved it 237 5 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 546 You deserved it 224 4 Comments