Today, we were supposed to go to one of my husband's coworkers' party, but he had to go alone because we couldn’t find my prosthetic leg anywhere. I eventually found it, in the shed. The only way it got there was if my husband put it there on purpose so I couldn’t go. I think he’s embarrassed of me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out about my husband’s work Holiday party last night. I wasn’t invited because he told me they didn’t allow plus ones. That would be more believable if my friend who works at his same company hadn’t brought his wife there. FML
Today, my husband said he was going to get errands. According to his job’s Instagram page which I follow, he was actually at his work Christmas formal. He never invited me. That’s not all. I also found his wedding band in the bathroom sink. Very close to the drain. FML
Today, I found out my husband was faking his leg injury. I caught him out and about walking just fine, hand in hand with another woman. I’ve been caring for him, holding down the bills, and taking him to an "at home" chiropractor for the past 7 months. FML
Today, I trusted my husband to take the kids to the park by himself 600 yards from the house so I could get some housework done. He managed to lose one bicycle, three wellies, a glove, and his wallet. I sent him back. It’s been two hours and he’s only found his emptied wallet and one welly. FML
Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML
Today, after I'd had hip surgery, my sister thought it would be hilarious to hide my crutches from me. I can't find them. FML
Today, my date walked out on me during our first encounter when he found out my prosthetic leg wasn’t the result of "fighting terrorists to protect democracy", but a splinter that went septic and caused gangrene. Apparently I’m no longer heroic enough for him. FML
Today, I worked from home and, by coincidence, it was the day that my partner was going away for the weekend with some friends. When one of them picked her up, I noticed that the other friend's husband was going on the trip. So other husbands are invited… but not me. FML
Today, a co-worker and I walked out of our office at the same time. He got in his car, which was parked right out front. I asked him what I had to do to get a sweet parking spot like that. He rolled up his pant leg and show me his prosthesis. He was in the handicapped spot. FML
Today, my husband moved all the furniture a few inches to the left because he saw online that it makes moving around the house really difficult, and he wanted to test it out. Unfortunately, the one who tested it out was me; I got home, went to sit down, and broke 2 toes on the coffee table. FML
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Top comments
ahabsfan 17
I wouldn’t jump to conclusions. Maybe it’s because he’s banging a coworker and doesn’t want you finding out. See, silver linings.
Anderling 33
Sounds like it’s time to run for the hills tbh. If he’s already weaponizing your disability against you what else is he going to do?
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Comments (4)
ahabsfan 17
I wouldn’t jump to conclusions. Maybe it’s because he’s banging a coworker and doesn’t want you finding out. See, silver linings.
RichardPencil 32
Jump to conclusions? Bravo, sir!!!!
RichardPencil 32
Well, if you were an American football player, you would have hopped to the party on your good leg! You really couldn't solve the problem? I guess you were totally... ...wait on it... ...stumped.
Marcella1016 32
That joke was leg-it a stretch
SirEnigM0nk 22
And hamstrung.
Anderling 33
Sounds like it’s time to run for the hills tbh. If he’s already weaponizing your disability against you what else is he going to do?
D J's MOM 17
I hope you beat him with it when he got home.