Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML
Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML
Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML
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Top comments
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Like a rhinestone cowboy
whatadaydanny 12
He had an awesome night.
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Comments (230)
ClaremoreZebra 8
Teenagers are gonna drink. It's not your fault but you can talk to him about it. We're stupid, and we do stupid shit.. and I guess some of us wear pink cowboy boots.
doodlecloud 27
Not all of us are stupid and do 'stupid shit'...
ClaremoreZebra 8
Most people will act stupid and do some stupid shit at some point while they're a teenager. It's the time for mistakes to be made and learned from. Go get butt hurt at someone else's comment.
doodlecloud 27
So...you were just gonna head off for work and you didn't even know where he was/what state he was in? At 18 maybe but at 16, sure let him go out and have fun, but at least make sure you know he's okay. He could've been stumbling around all day and gotten himself into real trouble...
ERRMAHGERD 3
**** your life? **** HIS life after you're done grounding him.
janeska1231 1
I would beat his ass as soon as he woke up. I hope u left him sleeping in his own throw-up?
Alecksander 4
Why do so many FMLs use the word "promptly"?
devore504 7
Why were you going to work if your 16 year old hadn't come home?
samasara 20
Teens will be teens.. The need freedom.
devore504 7
140 even at 24 if I didnt come home my mom would go into stalker mode till she knew I was alive and well
samasara 20
Hee heee. Sounds like my brother.
TweetAnne 13
YDI, it's up to you to teach him what to do and guide him into making the best decisions. My mother gave me a shot of whiskey at 11 for a New Year's house party. She told me if you're going to drink I prefer you do it in the house where you won't get in trouble and I'll have an eye on you. She said it was better for me and my siblings to drink at home then who knows where, where something bad could happen to us. She understood we would drink where ever we had the chance to experiment. We liked how my mom was open about this and thanks to this none of us are alcoholics or have gotten home in a state or similar to your son's. in fact I never had a drink outside the house if I didn't have a family member present. Teens can be responsible you just have to talk them and try to trust them, and give them as much information and guidance as possible.
cool_story_bro14 4
Ahhhh the teenage years
mmenegal 7
Hahah he's a bad bi*ch no muzzle?